December 27
Haarlem & Zandvoort

Today we (me and Abby) went to Haarlem with Lucy and Laura. I made everyone go to the Ten Boom Museum, which is one of my Escapades.

A view of the Ten Boom Museum.

I loved this book, The Hiding Place, as I was growing up. I was able to accept it for what it was since it is an interesting autobiographical story: this woman, Corrie Ten Boom, was a key figure in the Dutch Underground during World War II, spent time in a prison camp and an extermination camp, etc. There is definite emphasis placed on her relationship with God, and various "coincidences" and miracles that occur, which she attributes to God.

It wasn't until I got older that I realized it doesn't just have a religious theme, it is insistently religious. God is mentioned on almost every page. When I was looking up the address of the museum, the web sites I went to were evangelical in nature: Bible thumpy, born again, whatever you want to call it. I was apprehensive about the museum once I started looking at the web sites.

The museum was indeed Jesus freaky, and that's why we are now calling it the Jesus Museum. The first thing the tour guide asked was: "Are you Christian?" None of us answered until my sister spoke up, "Yes, we're Catholic." It went on that way. "You all look like praying people. I'd like to invite you to pray for the end of Anti-Semitism." "And So-and-So accepted Jesus into his heart..." "As it says in Psalm 34, verse 2..." "He went to the concentration camp, and then he went up to heaven..." "And then he traveled the world, and by now, he's in heaven..."

Me in front of the watch shop.

The religious element is in the book, but it's different. Here's an example: in the book, they talk about how they were able to hold prayer groups in the barracks of Ravensbruk camp. It's portrayed as an opportunity to quench the prisoners' spiritual thirst, allow them to feel hope and togetherness, to regain a little of their humanity. But in the museum, when she told the story, she talked about how many people had been Saved. ("You would never Save 700 people in ten weeks if you tried it today.") I hate talk like that. "You're going to hell unless you are Saved." That crosses the line for me.

The girls kept nudging me and rolling their eyes every time she brought up Jesus, etc. Not that they don't believe in any religious stuff, but it was way overboard. I don't think a tour guide should be asking people, "Do you pray?" and stuff during a tour. The tour guide asked the four of us, "So, are you all related?" and we said yes. "Oh. I could tell, because there's something in your faces that is the same." Once she was out of earshot, Lucy said, "I think it's called disgust."

Anyway it was really something to see the hiding place (they hid six Jews in a tiny concealed space in the wall, about three feet wide. No food, no water, no toilet, no light. They were in there for about a week, while the house was being guarded. But they all survived.) and the Alpina sign, the house itself, the clock, the watch shop. Really something.

The hiding place. With Bible verses pasted on the walls, of course.

One cool part was when the tour guide held up a square of cloth that showed a bunch of tangles and knots of different colors. Corrie used to use this as a prop when she lectured. "The knots and tangles represent the strands of your life, which don't always make sense to you..." she flipped over the cloth to reveal a beautiful embroidered crown "...but God is weaving a crown for your life, and you have to trust that things happen for a reason." Minus all that God stuff, it's an interesting analogy. I don't know if I do believe that things happen for a reason, but sometimes I think that they do.

Also saw the Grote Markt (large square in the middle of the town) and St. Bavo church: beautiful! It was snowing. It made it more picturesque, but by the time we walked back to the train station, it was freezing.

In front of St. Bavo's church in the Grote Markt.

Haarlem is a cute little town. It's more accessible than Amsterdam, and more quaint, with some great shops. I had never been there before, but I would like to go back. Maybe someday when the snow's not falling down the back of my neck and my legs aren't going numb.

A canal in Haarlem.

Then we went back to Zandvoort and had huge pizzas. (Lucy's family was staying in the Zandvoort condo at this time, and my mom was visiting her aunt at M's apartment.) Then Abby and I went to M's house. They sat down to eat, parents embarrassing us as usual. Dad got up and suddenly, he was on the ground. Originally we thought he just fell on his ass, but it's always a good idea to make sure someone is okay before you start laughing. But all was definitely not okay, and nobody was laughing. He was having what looked (to me) like a seizure.

VERY VERY SCARY. Thought he was going to die right there. Abby freaked out and bolted, started running for the condo to get my aunt. As soon as it registered that she had taken off, I started worrying about her running the icy roads. I called my aunt to intercept her (they just waited until she got there, though) and when I finally talked to her, she said she had an asthma attack while running.

In the meantime, Dad threw up twice (GROSS) and seemed to have another seizure. The police got there quickly and an ambulance followed shortly. Eventually, they took him to hospital. M drove me and picked Abby up.

At hospital we waited a long time. Dad seemed to be talking like his old self again-- almost-- not 100% though. Mom invents things and exaggerates. For instance, in the hospital, she said, "Oh, the doctor thinks it might be indigestion." Later, she admitted she didn't know, so she just made something up. Indigestion, for chrissake!

Then when I wanted to say good night to Dad, she said, "Oh, it's far away. It's across a hall, down to the next building, up the stairs, up an elevator..." It turned out to be twenty steps, up an elevator, twenty more steps. Oh, the horror.

December 28
Almere

We did something super nifty today. Conny showed us how to make "encaustic art" which is done with cubes of colored beeswax. You take a hot iron (a metal one, no holes) and apply color to the iron. You then iron the color onto a piece of paper, swirling the colors to create designs.

One of my creations.

If you want to, you can "read" the cards. Abby was the best at this. In one of hers, she saw a woman castrating a man, a rainbow, animals looking on, and George Washington (who else?) up in the corner. She had a complicated explanation involving women overthrowing the patriarchy (symbolized by George, of course). In one of mine, I saw a pregnant nun. This means that I am possibly going to be pregnant by immaculate conception. But most of mine sucked. That didn't stop me from snagging my own set of beeswax and some paper. As soon as I get a travel iron, I can try it at home.

December 29
Almere

A boring day at home because Westerbork (a Nazi transport camp where many Dutch Jews, including Anne Frank, briefly stayed) is closed. Read tarot cards for myself and played Dracula on the computer. Did three tarot readings for others. Got annoyed because I had no time to myself, though. Christian wouldn't stop bugging me, he followed me up the stairs and didn't even let me play the computer game by myself. Feh. Can't wait for a little bit of solitude when I get home.

Went to see Charlie's Angels in a Dutch movie theater. Quite an experience. There are comfortable seats and there is a small bar running down the length of the aisle, with round lamps for each person. The lights dim when the movie goes on. There's also a red button you press for service, and a server comes and takes your order for drinks, popcorn and candy. This can include beer and mixed drinks. During the movie, you can press the button and re-order food. It's way cool.

I already saw Charlie's Angels but I didn't mind seeing it again, especially since the Dutch subtitles kept me entertained. The previews and commercials (including a giant pickle) were very surrealistic.

December 30
Amsterdam

Going to Amsterdam today for New Year's Eve. Going to spend the next few days with Abby and my cousins. Went to Mr. Coco's ("lousy food and warm beer") for dinner.

There's Mr. Coco's.

Saw Dancer in the Dark, which I hated for all the reasons I hated Breaking the Waves. Bathos and melodrama, a female martyr figure, and shaky camera work. I think Lars von Trier has some serious issues with women. David Morse is sexy, though. And Bjork is undeniably brilliant, even though her character is annoying.

Very tired. Did not sleep well. I wish I had stayed up to talk to my brother-in-law. I feel a huge affinity for him that I can't explain without sounding creepy. Abby and Lucy say we have a little crush on each other. If you remove any hint of a sexual element from that statement, it's probably true.

Me and Chris, drunk at a family party.

New Year's Eve Amsterdam

In hotel room. Spent (cold) day out in Amsterdam. Saw Anne Frank Huis, which is extremely modernized since the last time I was there. It doesn't have as much immediacy as the Jesus Museum. But still moving.

Anne Frank's room.

Then Van Gogh Museum. AMAZING!!! I got the audio tour and spent our entire visit on one floor, the floor with most of his paintings on it. I tried the patience of my cousins and sister, but it was worth it. The space is open and inviting, full of light. The paintings are arranged chronologically, and the audio tour gives so much great information and insight into the paintings. If you go to Amsterdam, do not miss it.

One of my favorite paintings in the Van Gogh Museum. He manages to create a sense of perspective and depth using only color and texture, rather than conventional visual cues.

Trying to decide what to do tonight. The streets are a leeetle scary to me. Fireworks (legal and illegal) are everywhere, and the firecrackers going off are startling and nerve racking. We went out and got pizza and red wine for dinner. Have really acquired a taste for red wine since I started drinking it in San Francisco.

Abby was freezing cold, so she put on seventeen layers of clothes and made us pile every blanket we had on top of her. At one point, she made us all sit on her to create body heat. Here I am, snuggling up and trying to be a good sister.

Did a tarot reading for myself. It is going to be a great year, especially creatively. A year of huge transformation. My greatest struggle this year will be for intellectual and creative self discipline. This has always been my issue, but this is the year to work on it and resolve it, I can feel it. I think that success will be the result. I feel confident that I can be a successful poet if I am willing to work for it.

One card said that all career risks are worth it. Well, going to graduate school and trying to have a career in poetry is a huge risk, so that's good to know. The cards emphasize that I should work on improving my technical skills in my chosen field. The cards also said I should look for a stable partner in love. Amen to that.

Hey, Happy New Year!

There we are, sitting on the balcony.

Most exciting one in a while, sad as that might be. Stayed in the hotel (out of the scary streets), drank a rum and coke, and sat on the balcony overlooking the canal and the square and watched everyone set off fireworks (many kinds are legal here). It was really cool and not scary. 2001!

I ran out into the street in my bare feet to take this picture.

New Year's Day
Amsterdam & Almere

Doesn't feel like New Year. Don't miss my computer that much. I miss my birds, my room, my DVD player, and school. But it's been so far a great vacation. Working on Paris itinerary right now, for trip on the third, fourth and fifth. Can't wait...

"You know what else I just found in my mail bag? The remote control to my stereo. And where is the stereo, you ask? AT MY MOTHER’S HOUSE. So now I have a remote control, and no stereo. What do I do with it? I’m considering dangling it from the ceiling in Matt’s bathroom. He wanted me to decorate the bathroom, right? Well, I’m decorating it with Worthless Crap My Parents Give Me That I Can’t Throw Out Because I Fucking Need The Stereo That Goes With It."