Ever since the first day of school, Laurie has been having fun with that basket and our male classmates. Every time she finds herself standing by the water cooler, and one of them is nearby, she acts like she just spotted the basket, frantically rushes over to it, grabs two huge handfuls of condoms, and exclaims, "Oh, thank God!!" She's trying to convey the impression that she's in desperate need of about thirty condoms. It's way funny. Some of the guys have gotten the most appalled looks on their faces, like, "Check out Laurie, the turbo slut," or, "Hmm, I wonder if I should ask for her number?"

The other day, I decided to take a couple of condoms myself. Hey, I'm a single girl and it's smart to be prepared. Nothing wrong with that, right? But somehow, it felt a little embarrassing, picking up condoms for real, and not as a joke. I thought, well, maybe I should just get them some other time.

Almost as soon as the embarrassment registered, I realized how stupid it was. It's the 21st century. I hope we've progressed to the point where a twenty five year old woman can pick up a couple of condoms without creating a scandal. So I picked them up, in plain view of several of my male friends, and said to Joey, "Check it out. I got a green one and an orange one!"

I mean, I didn't scream it across the lobby or anything. I wasn't overcompensating, like, "HEY! Look at these CONDOMS I just picked up!! That's right, they are colorful and festive PROPHYLACTIC devices! They fit over the PENIS during SEX, which I might have some day! It's possible! That's right. SEX! And these CONDOMS will help lower the risk of disease and pregnancy, which might result if SEMEN is deposited into MY VAGINA!!!"

Let me reiterate, that wasn't what I said.

But when I turned around, I did see my friends Wayne and Probst looking at me, obviously having overheard my casual comment. I braced myself for some ribbing (pun intended), but Probst immediately opened up his own wallet to show me the brand of condom he carries. "Oh, these are great," he said, showing me the packet. "You should get some of these. They're extra thin."

Then Wayne opened his wallet. "No, these are really good; they're the best. You can get them at Good Vibrations, down the street. They have a little pouch on the side." "A pouch?" I asked. "For what?" "Better friction," answered Wayne. I admired how those two guys could speak about condoms so frankly, and carried them around without a second thought.

There's a little ironic twist to this story, too. Several days later, we were in my collaborations class. You might remember the class is divided into two groups. Lately, we've taken to sending little messages back and forth to each other-- drawings, jokes, poetry, etc. We give them to my professor and he delivers them from one room to the next.

Well, on Monday, our group got a little paper packet. My professor dropped it on our group table and said, "It feels like a condom." Sure enough, we unwrapped it and it was. (Although it looked like a little container of butter at first, and everyone laughed at me when I tilted my head and asked, "Is that butter?") It definitely wasn't one of the condoms-in-the-basket brands, though.

The first thing we did was try and figure out which one of the guys had been carrying it around. We speculated on which guy was single, and who would be most likely to carry it around, and so on. We eventually made a likely guess and that was the end of it.

The punch line is, the next day, I talked to Laurie and asked who had sent the condom over. Turns out, it was Laurie herself who had the condom in her purse. We all just "naturally" assumed it was a guy, and never even considered the women in the group. This, despite the fact that there are far more women in the group than men.

Man, did I feel stupid. Despite the fact that, when we were debating the condom in class, at that very moment, I had two condoms in my own wallet, I made the exact same stupid assumption the rest of the group did: a woman wouldn't be carrying a condom.

I always used to get a little embarrassed buying condoms when I was with Matt. Maybe because I had to buy the "extra large" variety, but still. It was mostly because my condom purchase was a declaration that I might, possibly, one day, have sex. Heaven forbid. It's like the whole tampon thing, in reverse. Men are embarrassed about buying tampons, and women are embarrassed about condoms.

But when you think about it, that's just ridiculous. I mean, tampons are a specifically female thing, and unless they're really kinky, men don't use them for anything. So I guess it's understandable that a man might find it a little squicky. But protecting yourself against disease and pregnancy isn't a "man thing," or at least, it shouldn't be.

Too often, women and girls put the burden of protection on the guy. Why? Just because the thing is vaguely penis shaped? Because it goes on the man's body? This isn't right. It is not right. We girls shouldn't have a problem being the ones to carry the condoms in our purses, and whip them out when the moment of truth is at hand.

So to all the single girls out there, if you're thinking that a sexual situation might come up (pun intended again) at some point, for god's sake put a condom in your purse. It's your responsibility to protect yourself, yours, and no one else's.

And hey, if you're embarrassed about buying them, let me know. I know where there's a big basket full.

I'll even send you a purple one.

"I love all three types of sex, which I will define below..."