Our presentation went well. I think. My instinct is that it went well.

The first presentation of the day was given by Checkers. He wore bright red lipstick and did a comparison of Stevie Smith (a female English poet) to Emily Dickinson. He was calling them both by their first names throughout; Stevie Smith apparently preferred her first name, and critics call her Stevie pretty much across the board.

Likewise, Checkers has been calling Dickinson by her first name throughout the semester, which has been irritating me. There are a bunch of critics who do this, and they are always male. It's generally considered disrespectful and condescending. I personally consider it disrespectful, and it sort of grates on my nerves.

Checkers is an eccentric character, to say the least. He considers himself a feminist, and he claims he is not being disrespectful. He just likes the "musicality" of her first name better, and thinks she might have preferred being called Emily. He made the mistake of bringing the issue up in his lecture today. So the professor decided she wanted to open a dialogue on this issue.

Checkers said that, since Stevie Smith preferred Stevie, it was appropriate to call Dickinson Emily when doing a comparison. He also said that Dickinson signed her letters Emily, which was evidence of a preference. (This is misinformation; towards the end of her life, she signed her letters, simply, Dickinson. The last letter she ever wrote, she signed "America.") Checkers also said-- and this is an interesting thought-- that the new feminist thinking is that the last name is patriarchal, and therefore, the first name is actually preferable.

The professor? Not having any of it.

It must have been grating on her nerves for the past few weeks, because she simply exploded, and they argued back and forth. Checkers was egging her on by not letting her get a word in edgewise, and that pushed her over the top. She actually said, "For the next six weeks, you will call her Dickinson, and if you don't like it, you can leave right now." Then Checkers said he was getting upset, and she raised her voice and told him to be quiet, and-- well, she basically browbeated him in front of the class, even after he said he didn't want to discuss it anymore.

I was on her side up to a point, because I do think that Checkers should follow the accepted academic standard and call Dickinson by her last name. I also think some of his points are erroneous and weak. But that ultimatum she gave him just bothers me. It seems like suppression of his free speech. Even though the "Emily" thing bothers me, I don't think he should be quelled like that.

At any rate, things got extremely weird and tense, and the professor was absolutely spitting mad. Wayne jumped to Checkers' defense and said to the professor, "I think you made your point about ten minutes ago, and we need a break." Brave man, Wayne. She did give us a break and continued her discussion with Checkers privately.

And after that break is when Joey and I had to take our turn. What fun!

I tried to speak confidently and make eye contact with everyone. Mostly, I tried to convey the impression that I knew much more than I was saying. You know, that my lecture notes were the tip of the iceberg, and I couldn't possibly fit all I know about Emerson and Dickinson into one short lecture.

Ha! The actual truth is that my presentation pretty much covered every single thing I know about our topic. So I compensated. I projected an air of authoritative wisdom, and nodded sagely during our post-lecture discussion. Fortunately, nobody asked me any actual questions, so sage nodding was all that was required.

As my sister said to me on the phone this morning, I'm a great bullshitter. I may not have many talents, but that is certainly one of them. No doubt about it.

You know what the highlight was, though? When I accidentally called Dickinson by her first name. I caught myself immediately, but damn. Of all the mistakes to make.

We get our grades next week, on the same day as my poetry reading, which is the next target for my nervous energy, manifesting itself right now in that I can't seem to stop typing this sentence and it just seems to be going on endlessly so I better force myself to stop. I guess we'll see what happens when the grades are in. I'm certainly not confident about getting an A.

We shall see.

I've spent the evening sorting photographs.

This is a huge project that has been on the back burner forever. I had two shoeboxes full of photos that needed to be sorted. There were doubles of photos that are already in albums, random photos that I couldn't place in time, and photos I just hadn't gotten around to yet.

The catalyst for all this sorting is that I went to Ross tonight. I was trolling for cheap clothes, which I didn't find. I did find a fuzzy tiger striped photo album (three bucks) and a couple of other small albums (two bucks each). I also bought a black cowboy hat with rhinestone studs on it (eight bucks). It's the coolest thing ever. I know I just bought the Muppet Hat, but come on. Black. Cowboy. Rhinestones. I'm not made of stone, people.

So I was inspired by my new albums to start digging into the boxes of photos. There are still piles of photos everywhere, but I have already filled up the fuzzy tiger striped album, and I threw away dozens of photos that are poor quality, or doubles that nobody could possibly want, or what have you.

I must admit I did get a little maudlin over some pictures of Matt that I found. There are a lot of pictures of the two of us looking all cute and couple-y, and it made me a little sad. But then I said fuck it, and just threw those pictures away.

I haven't updated you guys on the State of the Sims recently. So let's pop in on the Winslet-Pie residence and see what's-a-happening.

Mo Pie and Kate Winslet added a bedroom to the house. No, it's no longer a faithful reproduction of my apartment. But then again, in real life, no matter how much I need some girl-on-girl action, Kate Winslet isn't having sex with me in a heart shaped bed. More's the pity.

Mo Pie went out and got herself a giant gold Buddha. She can't stop praying to it.

Isn't she supposed to rub his tummy?

I'm trying to get Kate and Mo through their respective career tracks. Kate Winslet, in the Journalism track, is a tabloid reporter. Mo Pie, in the Slacker career track, is a lifeguard, I believe. The key to advancing their careers is making family friends, so the Pie-Winslets have been socializing quite a bit lately

The big news is with Tim Sim. I thought Mr. Miyagi was bad, flirting with everyone from John Ritter to Winona Ryder. But Tim Sim has got the playa flava in a big way, let me tell you.

Tim Sim came over, and I made Mo Pie talk to him for a while. All I set them up to do was talk, but before I knew what was happening, Tim Sim was flirting with Mo Pie, and then he promptly fell in love with her! I swear!

We're just friends, goddamnit.

Mo Pie got her own little heart over her head, which means she's in love with him, too. That little slut. She's got a naked Kate Winslet in her vibrating bed, and she wants more? At least she and Tim Sim haven't acted on their feelings yet.

Then, J Lo came over. (It's important to note here that when you have guests in your house, you have no control over what they do. So all of this action was totally autonomous on their simulated parts.) Not five minutes after her arrival, Tim started putting the moves on her. Here you see him giving her a back rub.

Hey J Lo. Loved that Oscar dress...

Giving her a hug.

Are those your nipples I feel?

And sitting her down for a game of chess. (Which cracked me up, because the real life Tim is an avid chess player.)

I have a 1300 rating. Does that make you horny, baby?

Then, the moment Tim's back was turned, I found J Lo dancing with Kate Winslet!

Can we dance a little closer together next time?

It's just a giant Sim orgy at the Pie-Winslet residence. I blame Tim Sim. I'm going to get revenge on him, though. I'm going to make a simulated Russell Crowe, who he can then love in a very gay way.

That'll show him.

"GRANDMA
And then that girl has a... a girlfriend. You know, a girlfriend who is her boyfriend. She's GAY."