I also won't be able to get it in under ten pages unless I do something drastic. So here's my self imposed restriction: I will only write one paragraph for each thing we did. This should be interesting.

I was so paranoid about being late to the airport that I was two hours early. The San Francisco International Airport décor is absolutely killing. It looks like a decrepit, tacky casino. When the plane arrived, I was nervous. I always get that way when waiting for people to get off planes. I was also afraid I wouldn't recognize Jen, since I have only met her once before. Even though her hair is strawberry and she said blonde, I had no problem recognizing her adorable face. Squeals and hugs. Happy, happy!

We drove into the Mission to get dinner. Appropriately, we went for Mexican food at El Mariachi. While Jen and I were waiting to pay for our food, we were each munching chips off our plates. Until I discovered that the food in front of me was some random person's dinner, and I hadn't gotten my food yet. Oops! I had a Thai chicken burrito with pineapple chunks and peanut sauce. Mmm.

After dinner, we headed down the street to the Elbo Room, a favorite hangout. We called Josh, who agreed to come hang out with us. We didn't know what he looked like, but speculated that he was probably a 400 year old Russian man with a twitch. This turned out to be untrue! Josh is around 30, probably not Russian, and hardly ever twitches.

We then went back to Josh's house for a threesome. Oh, no, wait. I'm thinking of something else. In actual fact, we went back to Josh's house just to kick it for a while. We were out late and had fun and we decided we love Josh. This was to be the beginning of a pattern of lateness and fun-osity and love.

Jen and I were arguing about diet colas, and I said, "Diet Pepsi is ass." Jen said, "That's okay, because Diet Coke is cock." And then I said, "Well, I like cock." Later on in the week, the sodas came to be known as Diet Cock and Diet Poopsie. Yeah, that's us. The leaders of tomorrow.

I took Jen on a driving tour of the city on Wednesday. I took her to work for breakfast and then, of course, I had to take her to my mini-skewel. She got to meet some of my classmates, including Mickey. (Ask her how freaking sexy he is. Oh, go on, ask her.) She also got to meet Probst, who we sort of kidnapped. We forced him to eat with us in Chinatown. Muahahaha. And then we had a threesome. Oh wait, no. Never mind.

I had plans to go to the 3WA gathering, but Jen had made prior plans with Josh. We dropped her off at Josh's work, and Probst and I headed to Richmond to the gathering. I'm afraid I wasn't my usual self. Normally I can roll with the punches, but for some reason, the totally shitty service at the restaurant threw me off. I was happy to see Eleanor, and to meet a bunch of other people, including Jolene and Keica. But we left before I really got to talk to anyone, and that sucked.

Probst and I followed Eleanor back to the Mission to meet up with Jen and Josh. We went and had coffee (I'm on a major soy latte kick these days) and just sat around and talked for a long time. Then we went to El's apartment, which was only a few blocks away, and continued our hanging out and talking. Once it got late, we dropped off the boys and headed home.

I am not sure when the Spinal Tap quoting started. (The title of the entry is a quote from the commentary track.) This may have been the night when we ate the truffles. (The first two were divine, and the third one tasted like a chocolate covered cherry Sucret, except even more disgusting.) I bet that this was one of the nights we laid up, giggling and talking. Because that was every night.

On Thursday, we met up with Josh again, to go to Alcatraz. We had just enough time to have ice cream for breakfast before we had to board the ship. (We kept forgetting to eat and sleep.) Already standing in line were Corina and Wes. (Insert happy reunion footage.) We took the Alcatraz tour. It was fascinating and nifty. From the island, we had a beautiful view of the skyline.

We went and had dinner on Fisherman's Wharf, and then hung out and watched the sea lions for a while. (They are grouped on various wooden floats, and we wondered if the floats represented sea lion cliques. Jen dubbed one group the Chess Club, and when a sea lion on one float started barking at one on another, we said, "Look, it's the Debate Club!")

We drove towards Golden Gate Park and past the Legion of Honor. We found a grassy field where there was a spectacular view of the bridge and the city, and did some quality gaping. We also stopped at the beach, where Wes was able to catch his first glimpse of the Pacific Ocean and we all strolled down the sand. I fell in love with San Francisco all over again. It really is one of the most beautiful cities on earth.

After the sun had set, we went to Japantown (another first for me) and had sushi. There was one thing in particular, some avocado covered thing, that was so delicious I can't even describe it. I got to try lots of yummy other things, too.

We then headed a few doors down to a small karaoke bar. It had like five tables, and only twenty songs in English. It was a dive karaoke bar. By the end of the night, we were the only people left. We systematically scared everyone out of the karaoke bar. Best song: Josh's rendition of "Sixteen Tons." Most scary: me and some random guy doing an Aladdin duet. Funny enough to make me weep: Corina singing "Let it Be." Don't get me wrong, she has a beautiful voice, but the accompanying video has a roller skater repeatedly squatting on the camera, and we all ended up in hysterics, Corina included. I mean, a squatting roller skater? What's that about? My guess is that in Japanese, the word for "Beatles" is the same as the word for "vagina." Nothing else makes sense.

On Friday, Jen took the BART into the city to do some touristy thing or another with Corina. I had to do some proofreading work, and this was my only chance to do it. We met up later on, after I was done working, when Corina came and dropped Jen off.

Friday night, Jen and I had tickets to see Eleanor's play, Planet Janet, at a restaurant in Berkeley. We got some pizza and beer and headed down to the tiny theater. Eleanor was fabulous, as always, and the play was quite entertaining.

After that, we snagged Eleanor and one of her friends, and met up with Josh and one of his friends, and went to the Albatross, a bar in Berkeley. We drank, we laughed, we played Taboo.

Then we went back to my house (minus El and her friend) and drank and talked some more. Did we never get tired of hanging out with people and talking until all hours of the morning, you ask? Why no. No, we didn't.

On Saturday, we took the BART into the city and met up with Josh at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art (SFMOMA, another place in the city I hadn't yet been. I particularly enjoyed the exhibit of Allan Wexler's stuff. I also enjoyed the section on the Modernist painters and, like, everything else.

The three of us walked towards the Tonga Room, where our Tiki gathering was to take place. We stopped at the foot of the big giant hill to eat at a diner. (So we kept forgetting to eat, and when we finally did eat, we ate cheesy diner food? Yeah, that's about right.) Then we ran out of time, so we had to take a cab up the hill instead of taking an invigorating walk straight uphill. Oh, darn.

I had a wonderful time at the Tiki party. The Fairmont was beautiful. I had a delicious crepe at the Squat and Gobble. I got to see my favorite SF journal-type people again. I got to meet Karen, which was very exciting. I got to drink actual vodkatea with the actual Gus. And, most importantly, I got to sing ABBA. Good times.

We went home early (at one in the morning) because the BART runs its last trains at midnight. We rode on the same train as Karen, who lives close to me. (I would wax effusive here about Karen's luminous beauty and charm, but that wouldn't be fair to the rest of the kids.) For once, we got to bed at a reasonable hour. Still giggling, though. Always with the giggling.

On Sunday, Jen had to go home. Again, we left about seven zillion hours early for the airport, intending to park by the big red suspension bridge thingie and walk out onto the bridge. But I missed the parking lot, I guess, because we ended up across the bridge and out the other side without finding a place to stop. Jen tried all week to make it out to that damn bridge, and it just never happened. Sigh. Next time.

We got coffee (which I needed, oh so desperately) and then went to the airport as early as pie. I waved Jen onto the plane and started missing her almost instantly. But it was nice not to have anywhere to be, for a change. After such a jam packed weekend surrounded by people, not eating, and not sleeping, I felt kind of loopy. But, as they say in L.A. Story, it was nothing some sleep and a good fuck wouldn't cure.

Before the day was over, I got both.

" In these spots, there’s only a thin veil separating the past from the present, and there are moments--like this one--when you can almost see straight through it."