So, welcome to the tour of my DVD collection. I figured I'd do this because... I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time?

I'm a freak for movies, and I love my DVD player. I love the format-- the clear letterbox picture, the good sound, and all the bonus features. I love director's commentaries on DVDs. When I'm working on the computer, I almost always have a movie playing. I watch movies over and over, obsessively, especially the fluffy movies: comedies, musicals, Jane Austen movies.

I've had my DVD player for just about a year, and my collection of movies has somehow exploded. So here now are all the DVDs I own, and some hopefully interesting tidbits about them. Pretty much in random order.

Guys and Dolls: The first DVD I ever got, from Tim, to christen my DVD player. Along with Dark City, the second DVD I ever got. Because Tim said if I insisted on picking out a sucky movie, I should also have a non-sucky movie. Heh.

The Slipper and the Rose. I got this one as a gift off my wish list from some wonderful reader out there. One of my favorite movies as a kid, and I finally got to see the uncut version and hear the director's commentary. I was so excited when this came out.

Fight Club. A birthday present from my sister. It's a great DVD, with lots of extras that enhance the experience of the film. This film has a lot of depth, and the disc really explores it. I haven't even gotten through all the features on the second disc yet.

When Harry Met Sally. Can't remember where I got this. Weird. I haven't watched it in a long time, but I remember there being cool extras on this disk. I should watch this again sometime; it's a great movie.

Annie. Not the shitty new version, but the real version, where Miss Hannigan is an alcoholic and gets to ride an elephant at the end.

Little Women. I can't ponder this movie without thinking about the running argument Shmuel and I have been having about the relative merits of this version of Little Women and the older one with Liz Taylor and June Allyson and Janet Leigh. I think the latter is better, and when I first saw the new one I hated it, but it's grown on me considerably and so I bought it. I still think Winona Ryder is wrong for the part of Jo, and I finally figured out why: Jo is supposed to be clumsy and awkward and not that pretty. Winona Ryder is tiny and elegant and beautiful. See what I mean? All wrong.

Bowfinger. I love Steve Martin, as you well know by now. And I adore everything about this movie. It's hysterically funny. I also have Roxanne, another pretty good Steve Martin film.

American Pie. I love this movie, plus my sister and cousin are in it. So I can freeze frame certain scenes and look for them in the background. I wish I could get a screen shot, but my computer can't read the DVD.

Bring it On. I'm sexy. I'm cute. I'm popular to boot! Yeah, I bought this DVD at Circuit City one day. The director's commentary is hilarious.

Pretty Woman. This is a 10th Anniversary Edition or something, with a bunch of extra stuff, including a featurette from way back in the day. I haven't watched this movie in a long time either.

My Best Friend's Wedding. I have some major problems with this movie-- the main one being that Dermot Mulroney (or Dylan McDermot, whoever) seems like sort of a tool, not at all the sort of guy Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz should be fighting over. But man, can I relate to this movie. I like the way it turns out, though, even though I don't-- I mean, Julia doesn't-- get the guy.

Sense & Sensibility. This is the disc that made me really want a DVD player. Two commentary tracks, one with Ang Lee and one with Emma Thompson, for one of my favorite movies of all time. And Kate Winslet is in it. You can see why I'd be excited.

Emma. The Gwyneth Paltrow version. I really like Paltrow, for some reason. (I feel the same way about Drew Barrymore.) I also love Jane Austen movies. And Jeremy Northam is hot. And that's all I have to say about that.

The Sound of Music. Oh yeah, I'm a sucker for musicals. A childhood favorite and I really wanted the uncut version. The extras are interesting, too.

The Cutting Edge. I bought this at Blockbuster for $10 one day. It's just one of those cheeseball films that I like, and it was cheap, so what the hell.

Pecker. Oh, a fabulous movie! John Waters is hilarious. I don't think I've listened to the commentary on this one yet, though. I really should. I love anything with Martha Plimpton in it. She's fabulous.

The Princess Bride. A birthday gift from my cousin. No extras, which is really disappointing, but nonetheless one of my favorite movies of all time.

Empire Records. Just bought this today. I used to watch this movie a lot, but only because Abby had it. I didn't have it. I miss having her video collection at my disposal. Anyway, this movie has insinuated itself into my brain ("Damn the man!" "Sexy rexy") and even though I hate Liv Tyler and this movie isn't "good" in the traditional sense, I love it, love it, love it.

Camelot. Bought it today, watching it right this very second. It's kind of a goofy musical, but I've been wanting it for a long time and it was cheap.

This is Spinal Tap. Probably my favorite DVD. Not only is it a great movie, but it has an hour and a half of extra footage, plus a commentary track from the band that's just as funny as the movie! I must point out that I watch this one all the damn time.

Best in Show. Another Christopher Guest movie. I prostrate myself before the altar of Christopher Guest. The movie is great and I love the deleted scenes. The next DVD I will own is Waiting for Guffman, which comes out on August 18. I'm counting the minutes.

The Emperor's New Groove. Got a great deal on this one, used, at Blockbuster. It's a really funny film.

The Matrix. I should sit down and watch this one again sometime. I got it from Colleen, who had an extra copy. This is a movie that you have to own on DVD, just for the quality of the effects and such.

Pump up the Volume. I think I got this one from Dora. A classic film of my teenage years. Remember when "Happy Harry Hard-on" was such a titillating name? Aah, the innocence.

Jaws. Got this from my cousin. It's the special edition. I have this weird thing for sharks, and this movie rules. I haven't seen it in a while though.

The Nightmare Before Christmas. Dude, why haven't I watched this recently? One of my favorite movies, like, ever. I think the next time I clean my room I'll put this one on. Lots of cool extras about the making of the film, and great picture quality.

Good Will Hunting. Good movie, interesting commentary. And that's all I have to say about that.

State & Main. One of my obsessively-watched discs. The commentary is weird, though. A bunch of actors were all recorded doing separate commentary, and they basically cut those actors' comments on top of only their scenes. There's one part where Patti LuPone points out a really obvious dub-in, and once its pointed out, it's really annoying. William Macy and David Paymer are funny though.

Dirty Dancing. Heh. Another classic movie of my generation. All that dancing used to seem so... dirty.

Doors in Concert. I got this one by accident when I thought I was ordering a copy of The Doors from Columbia House. I need to sit down and watch it one of these days. I don't know why I haven't. I love the Doors.

The Cell. Bruce brought this up for me. It's too disturbing to watch over and over again, but it's very visually interesting and cool to have, and to watch when the mood strikes.

But I'm a Cheerleader. My friend Katie, and her father, and her brothers are all extras in this movie. It's a great satire and I watch it a lot. I have sort of a crush on Clea Duvall now.

Best of Friends. The two DVD set. It's mostly the "event" episodes-- like when Ross and Rachel finally kiss, and when Ross marries Emily (ugh) and when Phoebe gets pregnant. But it does have my favorite episode: when they compete to switch apartments. ("It's actually Ms. Chanandler Bong.") I want them to put out another one with some of the ordinary episodes that are just really funny.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Yes! Probst got this for me, because he's a big ol' sweetie pie. I haven't watched it yet because the film is in re-release and Probst and I want to go check it out in the theater.

Gia. My sister bought this for me before she had her own DVD player. She just wanted to see Angelina Jolie naked, I think. But she does do an excellent job in this film. And she sure is naked. I wish she wasn't as skinny though... Kate Winslet in Holy Smoke is way more my type, even though she does pee on herself in that one scene.

Amadeus. Great, great movie. Some days, you just want to get lost in an epic like this. Plus, you can just play the soundtrack, which is great background music.

Galaxy Quest. My inner Star Trek nerd adores this movie.

Almost Famous. I bought this DVD before I even saw the movie, based on the hype surrounding it. Although it's not quite as good as I expected, and although Chris Columbus disses the Doors, I do dig this film. Kate Hudson is annoying, but in a fascinating sort of way. And Anna Paquin is really annoying, in an annoying sort of way.

Mansfield Park. I bought this when Matt finally sent me the money he owed me. It's my female empowerment movie. It has some problems, but it also has Alessandro Nivola, and by god, that's good enough for me. No, really, I just love Jane Austen. But the girl who plays Fanny's sister Susie freaks me out with her resemblance to Kate Winslet.

I also have three more coming. I joined that Columbia House DVD club thing a long time ago and I was sick of getting their DVDs sent to me and having to send them back and the whole rigamarole. So I just bought the two remaining discs on my membership and closed my account. Somehow, I also had a free one coming to me. So I'm getting Shanghai Noon, Traffic and The Wedding Planner.

And that's it! Whew. And to think, if I started cataloguing my videotape collection, we'd be here all day. I still buy them, mostly because they are dirt cheap these days at Blockbuster. And of course, they were my format of choice for years. So I have a zillion.

This was fun though. Thank you and goodnight.

"TERRY
Where can I find the sugar?

SUNSHINE
Sugar in bowl in ca-bi-net. I get su-gar."