After Russell Crowe married Tim and moved into the PWHoS, his ex-husband, Nels, was left all alone. You may recall that they used to live together in the pink house with the penis-shaped pool. Well, the pool is still there, but Russell heartlessly took all the house's furniture when he ran off to elope with Tim.

Nels mopes around his huge, empty, pink, homosexual house.

So Nels made a plan: he would get his man back, come hell or high water. His first brainstorm was to hire a caterer and throw a party.

Tons of people show up-- including Tim (the "other man") and the Random Mime from Hell. No Russell, though.

His next plan: show up at Russell's new home, bearing fruitcake.

Pathetic, really, trying to get your man back with a fruitcake. Poor Nels.

So far, Nels' efforts have not paid off. He still has no furniture in his house, and he still isn't getting any from Russell. But who knows. Maybe next time. After all, how can things be all bad, when you have a penis-shaped pool?

Over at the Celeb house, the big news is that Josh is attempting to woo Jen Journaler. Is it her career in the Life of Crime that is making him so hot and bothered? Perhaps. It wasn't long before he was popping the question.

Will you marry me, you sexy crime mastermind?

Sadly, Jen turned him down. Perhaps it was seeing some of the other scary stuff that goes on at this house.

Mr. T, in a pink speedo, juggles for Darth Vader Darkside. And... what else is there to say?

So both Josh and Nels have been thwarted in love recently. But there's some happier news in Sim Land, and it comes from you favorite house and mine...

And unto the Pie-Winslet House of Sluttery, a child was born. Except what with all that sex going on, nobody was really sure whose child it was. And lo, they called him Alessandro Timothy Crowe Winslet Pie.

The family gathers around to welcome the new addition, and presumably to search his face for hints of parentage. Lucy, Nels and Buffy, who happen to be visiting, are also there to welcome Alessandro to the family.

The members of the family put their slutting aside to take care of the new baby. They split up the childcare equally. Here is a tender scene, husband and wife and baby. (You will see this scene in real life someday, right after hell freezes over.)

Tim and Mo Pie nurture their (possibly) young spawn.

The family also threw the baby a birthday party. How sweet. Guests included Colonel Sanders, who was swiftly named the baby's godfather. Also on the scene are Xeney and Mr. Miyagi.

Someday, little Alessandro, you will learn my secret chicken recipe...

After much love and care by the members of the HoS, Alessandro grew up in a flash. I just about doubled over laughing when I saw that he was wearing a teal tuxedo. Suddenly, tt was pretty obvious who his father is-- the one who got married in a teal tuxedo!

Like father, like son!

After Alessandro's arrival, the sprawling house with all its various slut annexes was just too unwieldy. So they demolished the house and built a gothic castle instead.

Behold the Castle of Sluttery!