It was a mellow, slacker type of day-- too many of the green-aproned, not enough customers-- and I was wandering around trying to find something to do. I walked over to the row of tea boxes and started throwing away the empty ones-- with a moderately sassy snap of the wrist and everything.

I finished doing that and then noticed my friend D. had been watching me do this. Totally deadpan, he looked at me and said, "Wow. That was very arousing."

Work story, Job #2.

Today was the first day of teaching high school students in group form. It didn't go as well as I'd have liked. I was nervous about it this morning, and then I went and got some props to help me out-- supplies for games and other things. Even stars for the "you get a gold star" sticker system. Once I felt prepared, I thought, yeah! This is going to be a breeze.

Wasn't a breeze. Was possibly the longest two hours of my life. Guess how much control I exerted over the classroom? If you answered "zero control" then you get a gold star.

They are all incredibly bright kids-- one or two of them are probably going to get 800s on the damn SAT Verbal without my help. But they all talked at the same time, they were restless and antsy after a long day of school, and they all skipped ahead of wherever I was trying to teach, like "Yeah, yeah, we get it. Next."

Halfway through I gave them a ten minute break, largely because I needed one. I regrouped a little bit, and then decided to break them into groups for a game. This was a huge hit, because it allowed them all to show off how smart they are. I am going to prepare a bunch of games for next week. (If anyone has any good ideas for vocab games, shoot them my way.)

I acknowledged the cheesyness of the gold star system, but they all got into it. I am now worried because I have to come up with a prize at the end. I'm thinking gift certificate to Tower Records or something. Not that I'm getting paid to buy them one, but oh well. It's tax deductible, right?

On the whole, I think they learned the main points and had fun, which were the two main goals of my assignment. (I was explicitly told to worry less about the material and more about the fun-level in the classroom. More games! More games!) Next time, I hope to be able to talk one-on-one with them when I review their homework and see if everyone is understanding the material.

Anyway, I take back what I said about teaching high school students. They might be a little too much for me.

Something completely different.

I went too see my new doctor today-- have I mentioned I adore her?-- for a girly-themed physical. (That's right, I said Pap smear.) We gossiped about our love lives while she looked at my cervix, and it has to be said, it's the first Pap smear I've ever had that has brightened my day in any way.

We talked about my issues with recurrent UTIs (the antibiotics she gave me successfully knocked out the one I've been nursing since late October) and she suggested that I might be allergic to condoms, or at least certain types of condoms. She said that I should try out different kinds-- I agreed that would be great, except that I'm single. She said in that case, I'd have to start using it as my pickup line.

"Pardon me, but would you like to help me test various types of condoms? I'll need a doctor's note, your measurements, and endorsements from previous partners. Please have them rate their pleasure on a scale of one to ten. Thank you."

Anyway, we laughed a lot. One thing I will definitely miss when I move away is having her for a doctor. Do keep your fingers crossed that I get a clean bill of health, though, would you? I would like to continue feeling fabulous. Preferably forever.

(Oh, and your application materials can be sent as attached .pdf or MS Word files. Please include a naked photo.)