And this is why I am part of the Book & Pie club. Creative problem solving.

In case you have no idea what the hell I'm talking about: Jenfu and I took a spontaneous road trip to Sacramento yesterday. I am still not quite sure what the motivation behind it was, except for our innate sense of adventure and yearning for pie. But we rounded up the Book & Pie club (which so far consists of Beth, Jeremy, and Ian) for an in-depth explication of our first reading selection, The Tawny Scrawny Lion.

This so-called "golden" book is primarily concerned with the eponymous lion coming to terms with his homosexual identity. But it touches on many other themes, including drug use, bulimia, incest, the Atkins diet, Jesus, and the art of Hieronymus Bosch.

Next time, we tackle The Poky Little Puppy. That's right: pokiness. It's a real problem.

We also drove past lots of cool Sacramento landmarks, which I am sure would be very interesting if they were open, or perhaps properly lit. We saw the old governor's mansion, the capitol building, and a vague shape which may or may not have been Sutter's Fort.

I loved walking around the capitol building, by the way. It appealed to my sense of history. Plus it was eerie and deserted. And there's a giant bronze seal of California in the sidewalk outside. We tried bleeding onto it to see if we could summon a vampire or something, but nothing happened. Perhaps we need a special knife.

I remain convinced that's where the Hellmouth is, though. How else do you explain the unworldly, evil power of Gray Davis?

I feel really hormonal and emotional today. I could write a perfectly mawkish entry about how my career is going nowhere, my plans to move back to Los Angeles have tragically fallen apart and nobody cares if I move there anyway, how I am a failure as a writer, how empty I feel without a relationship, how I have not been eating healthfully and have probably gained five pounds in my tragic quest to substitute food for love, and many other italicized statements of tragedy.

But you know, that paragraph got the point across anyway, and was probably a lot less irritating to read.

And now, speaking of tragedy, the Mushroom Progress Report.

I have never had to deal with my hair to this extent before. I prefer the completely maintenance free haircut, where I let my hair dry and it becomes this cute fluffy thing. Now I have a curling iron and a blow dryer in my bathroom. I have hairspray and mousse. I have barrettes! I don't understand it, I'm not good at it, and I want my hair back.

On the other hand, all these webcam pictures are a good time.