HAPPY THING NUMBER ONE: BOOKS & PIE

I wanted to do a Books & Pie Photo Essay but my camera ran out of batteries. My Photo Essay has now been reduced to this one picture of pie:

Someone else promised to make lots of dirty jokes about eating Jen's delicious pie. I look forward to that entry, whenever it should appear. In the meantime, I recommend Ian's excellent recap of this meeting of the Books & Pie Club, as well as the meeting notes for all the meetings.

We read two books, Telling Tommy about Days We Celebrate, and Little Benny Wanted a Pony, both of which I bought at an antique shop in Austin. Austin rules!

I must say that Little Benny was a real Books & Pie winner. The pony is mentioned briefly at the beginning and of course comes into play at the end, but the true story here is the titular character's exploration of his own nascent sexuality.

Little Benny explores the world of gay love (symbolized when the butcher offers him a sausage) and the world of heterosexuality (he visits a "milkmaid" and sits on her "pail") but he rejects these ideals and dons the mask of repression. (In the background are bunnies, symbolizing the reproductive goals of the societal sexual norm.) Then he gets home and there is a pony awaiting him, who unifies the male and female (as shown when he fellates a tea kettle) and Little Benny flings off his mask, and goes to bed with the horse.

The final scene is Benny's mother coming home with "candy" which I had some trouble with, until a friend of mine (the Pilgrim) pointed out that the "candy" probably symbolizes poppers. In his words, "That's what mothers are for. They're there for you, always willing to score you some drugs if you decide you want to fuck a horse." Wow! Let's invite that guy to Books & Pie!

Little Benny Wanted a Pony is actually a quite coherent exploration of the sexual awakening, although the conclusion that Benny comes to is a little unorthodox. It doesn't really surprise me that this book is no longer in print. And that's a damn shame.

HAPPY THING NUMBER TWO: E-MAIL FROM MY FATHER

I save these things for you. Yes, my dad calls the cat "madame." He sometimes also calls me and my sister "madame." No, I have not made these people up.

From: Freddydutchman
To: mo pie

Hi Monique, I was reading the trader joe"s magazine and read in there they had stoopwafels [these are those yummy Dutch caramel waffle cookies] ,I called the 800 # to find out or there was one in your area .There is one in Emeryville off the 80 fwy,phone# 510-658-8091. Mom ask me to thank you for the info re:the zen muffins,you bought at traders joe,so knowing that you must have been there I assume .You probaly were not aware that they had stroopwafels, Sunday a couple of the weavers [their square dancing club is called the Western Weavers] are commiing over to help us with the x-mass decoration for the dinner-dance in dec .Yesterday we got our flu shot at kaiser ,thaught you would like to know.This way we wil stay healthy for the winter.Anyway this is all the news we have for now. Love Mom and Dad!!!!!!!!!

From: Freddydutchman
To: mo pie

Hi ,how is my girl doing?News about moca,wel who says girls don"t rule the house. [Moca is our cat.] Moca is not anymore in the girls room ,she found a new spot to sleep during the day when mam and I wake upp ,we have breakfast etc,moca walks around the table I open the door to let her out ,no then she stands in front of the sliding doors in the french room because she wants to go sleep,all that while we have breakfast.Then she goes into the bedroomwalking around the bed wich is not made yet meauwing and meauwingtill mams makes the bed .Then madame jumps on the bed and goes to the area where the pillows are and snuggels herself into a position that she is comfortable ,that goes on every morning and sleeps about the whole day. SSo now you know a little bit what "s going on here. have a good weekend Love Mom and Dad. hear from you soon we hope!!!!!!

HAPPY THING NUMBER THREE: DIARIST AWARDS

My entry "What It's Like" has been nominated for Outstanding Entry, and I hope to soon be embroiled in a bitter rivalry with my fellow nominee Chiara, sort of like the rivalry in Showgirls where they end up making out. I have never been nominated in this category before! I'm excited. Here, check out my graphic:

Okay, I haven't gotten a graphic yet, and I may have made that one up. But there are a lot of great entries and journals nominated this time around. I highly recommend a peruse through the nominees.

HAPPY THING NUMBER FOUR: MY CHAPBOOK

The first 50 copies are almost done! I just have to find my side-saddle stapler. (Where the hell did I put that?) Anyway, they are all folded and almost ready to go. I'm hoping to do a larger press run next week, but the first 50 copies will be available soon.