I saw and spent time with many wonderful people, some all-too-briefly. I tried to make plans ahead of time, but it didn't always work out, or maybe everyone was as busy as I was. (People to see, places to go, copious amounts of chocolate to eat. You know how it is.)

You can read these entries of Kymm's for some details, or check out my sister's crazy Livejournal for more. I also saw Tamar and Diane (with their gorgeous kids), the fabulous Jill (and Jay-- can you guys adopt me?), StealthPunch, Dan, Eric and KT, Charlotte and Bruno, my cousins, Ash, my best friends Bruce and Tim, Matthew and his girlfriend, my cat (who napped on my lap-- she hasn't forgotten me) and my square-dancing parents.

I had a phenomenal time! I will tell a few anecdotes.

Tim moved to the beach, very near to Matthew, and we spent a couple of nights over there with Matthew and his girlfriend. We drank wine, port, and beer, and played cards. I must point out that we taught M's girlfriend how to play Spades, and then she and I schooled those boys, not once but twice. Tim was all, "if only I was sitting in another seat" or "you got better cards than we did" and other typical stuff that a guy might say when his ass has been kicked by a couple of girls. And yet, I continue to gloat over my victory.

ME (to Tim): "You won't rub my back, you won't show me your penis, you won't touch my boobies. What kind of friend are you?"

TIM: "A platonic friend."

I broke him down in the end, and got a back rub on the grounds that it didn't violate our platonicness. Matthew was the one who did those other two things! He showed me his penis because I wanted to see his new piercing. We waited until Tim left the room, and then he whipped it out. My first reaction on seeing the metal bar was, "Oh my god, that's huge!" Which is, of course, what every guy wants to hear right after he drops his pants, so I think he was happy.

I saw only three movies while on vacation: Big Fish, Return of the King (Tim hadn't seen it yet), and Calendar Girls (or Bigger Buns, as we called it). I liked RotK better the second time around (except this time I didn't watch the spider bits-- once was enough). I was expecting it to feel interminable, but I found myself looking forward to all the super good parts, excited for Tim to see them! Calendar Girls was funny and cute, and it helped me get out of a depressed mood. And Big Fish was a little maudlin, but enjoyable nonetheless.

Also on DVD, I saw Rules of Attraction (had heard it sucked, but really liked it) some of Red Dwarf (I'm not sure that I get it), Drunken Master (aww yeah) and the new Ellen Degeneres HBO special, which made me practically pee my pants. "Can you help me find my eye?"

Bruce and his boyfriend and I went to Temeculah for wine tasting and gambling. We had a beautiful lunch at one of the wineries, then went to a few places and tasted some mighty fine wine. We are absolutely going to have to go back. I got a couple of bottles of almond champagne-- and Bruce got another case of it. We split one bottle in the casino parking lot. I went home and threw up. Good times!

Tim and I also went to the Museum of Jurassic Technology. I didn't understand the concept of the museum before I went there, and I still don't understand it. It says it's stuff from the "Lower Jurassic" which -- what is that? The girl working there didn't know, although she said it was "more of a region as opposed to an era." I think it is neither a region nor an era, but something made up to confuse us.

We saw many nifty exhibits, though. 3-D X-rays of flowers, the evolution of the trailer park (models of trailers, and people's random collections from their mobile homes), tiny mosaics made of butterfly wings, old wives' remedies, and more! We wandered around vaguely confused, with a lot of nifty stuff to look at.

Okay, I have to tell my favorite story. Tim has for years been interested in cults and cult psychology, and one of his friends mentioned that this museum might be affiliated with some sort of religious organization. Tim then decided that the museum just might be a front for some sort of cult.

When we got to the back of the museum, there was a sign indicating their "tea room" where you could go and have tea and cookies. Which is, yes, a little unusual. Tim looked at me with significance. "That's where it happens," he said ominously.

Was he being a little paranoid? Then two people came out of the tea room laughing. "Did you hear that?!" he said. "That girl was talking about brainwashing!" Hmm. Was he onto something? Or just on something?

By the time we went up the stairs and into the tea room, I was half-convinced that a Sinister Event was about to happen. This was, after all, a weird little museum. There was a movie about steel fleas (?) playing in a tiny theater, and then a hallway with a washroom off to one side, and then a big room with tea.

We walked in and the girl offered us a drink. I said no, because I don't drink tea. It struck me as relatively innocuous, if unorthodox. We left the room, went down the hall, and debated going back in. "Do you want to?" I asked.

"Well, I'm curious about what's going to happen," he said. "There's definitely something going on here." While we were debating, some other guy went in. So we listened in as the tea girl (cult recruiter?) asked him some questions about himself.

"See? SEE? She's asking leading questions!" Tim exclaimed. "She's establishing a rapport!"

"I think she's just being friendly..."

The steel fleas (?) movie got louder, so we went back down the hall and ducked into the room with the sink. There were candles on the counter, and a basket full of rolled-up towels.

"Look at this!!" Tim said, gesturing excitedly. "Look how these towels are arranged. And they're white. And there's a sink! And look at these candles!"

"You are out of your mind."

"No, I'm not! Clearly, rituals take place in this room."

"It's a bathroom, Tim."

"No way! I mean, come on. If it's a bathroom, then where's the toilet?!"

Wordlessly, I opened the adjoining door, and there it was. I looked at the toilet, and then looked back at Tim. A look came over his face as he realized he was, in fact, in all probability, a big idiot. And then we laughed and laughed.

God, I love this story.

We actually went in there for tea, after that. I think Tim was hoping something would happen to vindicate his paranoia, or at least keep him from feeling like a colossal fool. But the girl just poured some tea and then went back to text messaging people on her cell phone. Absolutely nothing happened.

I do think that the cookies were probably poisoned, though. Whatever you do, if you go to the museum, don't eat the cookies. You've been warned.

Other things. We went bowling, and I lost miserably because I suck, but it was fun anyway. My parents took us to dinner at this restaurant for old people, and I had the blue plate special (literally -- it was written on the plate in blue capital letters). I also especially loved going out to lunch with my sister the last day I was there, because we were able to have a really good talk.

I didn't take any pictures for my entire vacation. Kymm took a couple (me and my new underwear, for instance) and I think Dan has one of me eating a sprinkle cookie, which I want to see a copy of because, dude, it's Dan Art! My cousin took the below one-- Tim and I on New Year's Eve. Why is he drawing a goatee on me? I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time?