Quick Update
To say thank you, Scalegod, for giving me back my magnet. Thank you!
- posted by mo @ 9:24 AM

 
Important Updates
I know you are on pins and needles wondering if I caved in and got the marshmallow powder. Well, you know, I was going to. I went to Sephora and sniffed the tester, and it was as glittery as ever, and smelled so marshmallowy. I would have people lining up to lick this stuff off me. I had to have it.

But... they... were out of it. They had the cinnamon one, the caramel, the honey, the cherry lemonade and the gimlet. They said the marshmallow was "seasonal" or some such crap. But nobody is going to line up to lick a girl who tastes like lime. It's just not going to happen.

So that was my bitter disappointment of the day. In weight loss news, I nearly was undone when it was looking like we had to work late, which means ordering food for the office. Usually Thai food from the (ungodly good) place down on Kearny. But in the end we left before the dinner hour (if you work after 8 you get free dinner and a cab ride home).

That is a very long way to explain that I ended up skipping dinner completely. I think I only had 20 points today. Good; fine. With the week I've been having, a couple of 20-point days won't kill me.

Except how do you do it? All I had for breakfast was two oranges and a cappuccino. (Not at the same time.) I had a box lunch. I gave in and had half a sandwich when the giant tray of deli stuff came along, which might have been a mistake, but I have been craving protein so bad, and it was tuna on a roll, not very mayonnaisey. I snacked on strawberries and popcorn. I really feel like I ate next to nothing today, making very healthy choices. Yet still no dinner. Is this really it? 20? Really?

Someday, when I care more again, I will find a way to cook dishes incorporating lots of veggies and things. I hope to have a kitchen to facilitate this. Or else I may never eat dinner again.

And finally, I can get emphatically behind any weight-loss blog called Cut the Crap.
- posted by mo @ 11:09 PM

 
If You Want Inspiration...
...instead of ennui, try Yvonne! She calls her scale the Scalegod. That is goddamn charming.
- posted by mo @ 4:16 PM

 
Somewhat Dorky PSA
Why don't you take some time out of your busy schedule today, and register to vote? Just print the form and send it in; it took me only five minutes. (I wasn't registering for the first time, just changing my affiliation so I can vote in the Democratic primary.)

Note: this doesn't apply to people in Wyoming; sorry Wyoming people. And the thing is 33 pages long, due to instructions for each state. Do not just hit print, like I did, because you will be faced with 33 pages of detailed instructions for 49 states that you do not live in. (Well, 48. Sorry again, Wyoming.)

I have friends who don't bother to vote and don't seem to care about voting. I respect their freedom to vote or not vote, but I am still a little disappointed. People are getting so passionate about the upcoming election, and getting involved as a voter is really pretty exciting. Remember the 2000 election, which really did come down to a handful of votes. Your vote may be just one drop in the bucket, but it may be the one drop that counts. Rise above the cynicism and the apathy! Vote.

(Remember that you can also vote via absentee ballot! This is a great way to combat voter ennui. Unfortunately each state handles those differently, and you may have to go to your individual state government pages to figure it out.) And if you register to vote for the very first time, e-mail me. I will send you a present! Yes I will!
- posted by mo @ 3:47 PM

 
Gimme
Somebody needs to stop me from spending hundreds of dollars at Sephora. I mean, look, they have marshmallow powder! They also have powder in cherry lemonade and in something called gimlet, which smells like lime.

And then there's Philosophy. I blame Elizabeth and Erin for making me feel as if I need the products of Philosophy. I also blame Philosophy for this. (I am getting the cuticle cream. Working with coffee has devastated my cuticles, and if the Philosophy stuff works, by god, I'm getting it.)

According to my scale at home, I have gained 1.5 pounds this week! And then today, three dozen boxes of Krispy Kremes were in the office. (I only had one, a plain one. It feels like a victory from where I'm sitting.) I feel very un-enthusiastic about trying to starve myself, although I am still eating Lean Cuisine lunches and having bananas and toast for breakfast and frozen strawberries for snacks. I haven't abandoned my good habits, I'm just not enthused about them.

Friends, I am warning you. If you say "Are you sure you should be eating that?" or any other similar statement, I will possibly punch you in the nose. I need to take a break from militant point-counting and from hyper-awareness about what I'm eating. Give me a couple of days.

[Edited to add, I had to laugh when I saw the horoscopes for today. My Pisces horoscope is: "Money is used to make you or others more comfortable. Buy something you've been wanting." And moonsigns says: "The buying urge is activated, big-time, for all."

I have not yet purchased anything, however.]
- posted by mo @ 1:37 PM

 
Once Upon a Time...
There was a princess named Mo. And she came home from work, having used up all her points, and started cleaning her apartment.

While she was cleaning, she ran across a stash. The rest of the giant gingerbread man, and some Christmas chocolate. Slowly, piece by piece, she ate the gingerbread man. She ate the chocolate. But it wasn't enough! She wanted more. She felt bad for having blown her points. She anticipated a difficult night where she would sit, hungry, struggling not to find more junk food to eat.

Then, the princess had an epiphany. "I just want a turkey burger," she said to herself. "What the hell am I doing here, sitting, sneaking junk food, when all I want is to go get some goddamn protein in my system?"

The girl got into the car and drove to Barney's, and ordered the turkey burger with sauteed mushrooms. She brought it home. The first bite was heavenly. And she ate the burger, and didn't feel guilty, not one bit.

As the burger settled in her tummy, she thought maybe it was good that she had listened to her body. And maybe starving herself and depriving herself, no matter what, even when she was hungry, was sort of lame.

She was a princess, after all! And no matter what size she happened to be, she knew she deserved better than that.
- posted by mo @ 8:35 PM

 
Good Week
I didn't do a Friday wrap-up this week, but if I had, I would have said that I'd had a very solid week, stayed on or under points, and felt like I'd lost at least a pound -- maybe two.

I'm usually pretty good at judging these things, but this week, I was disappointed! I gained .6 instead, to put me squarely back at 49 pounds lost. No magnet for me.

I hope that the "payoff" for this week will come next week. The only scapegoat I have right now is eating the damn almonds -- I am so not doing that this week, no matter what the nutrition experts have to say. A tiny handful of almonds is too many points, and it doesn't satisfy my snackies.

On the plus side, I was walking into Starbucks in my yoga pants and sweater and admiring my own curvy shape. (The poochy is now a poochette, and it's a little sexy.) I have to keep in mind that plus or minus one pound shouldn't and doesn't make a fundamental difference in the way I view myself.

Also, I did really well on nutrition this week -- a lot better than some "successful" weeks when I subsist on movie popcorn and starvation -- and that counts for something too. In fact, it counts for a lot!
- posted by mo @ 1:53 PM

 
Comment on the Comments
There's some discussion in the comments about the whole "before" and "after" photo, sort of in line with my own personal conflicted feelings about it.

Do I look "the same" in both pictures? Of course not. I'm ten sizes smaller, and there's no way there's not a physical difference. But the difference in clothes, makeup, hair, lighting, and who knows what all -- that makes a difference too. The weight loss is accentuated by those things.

And I certainly know what is trying to be said. That I'm still the same person, a worthwhile person, a beautiful person, in both photos. Believe me, I understand that, and I still don't hate myself retroactively. Let me be very clear.

I look at that picture and think, well, it's not such a great picture of me. And I look at the pictures next to each other and feel proud of myself for making such big changes in my life -- and it's not the physical changes I am thinking of here, but the inner, emotional ones.

At my heaviest, I was also at my unhappiest. Not because of the weight, but because I was in a bad relationship and hated my job. But it was reflected in my body. Now I have a life that I love, and that's reflected in my body too.

I think the most important thing to point out, though, is that the so-called "after" picture is a picture of me weighing about 215 pounds. I have plenty of body flaws, and the Arm Flab is making an appearance. I love hearing people say I look good in that picture, and I know that it's not because I have achieved some "thin" ideal, but because I am confident and happy with myself.

Objectively speaking, I am as big as, if not bigger than, a lot of people who join Weight Watchers because they are unhappy with themselves. I think that it is important for those people to know that they can be happy now, even if ultimately they want to get more fit, more healthy, or what have you. In that sense, I hope it's a good example.

Anyway, thanks for your comments and compliments. I'm still thinking.
- posted by mo @ 1:33 PM

 
BLR: Roasted Vegetable Pizza
By Lean Cuisine, of course! Maybe I will try the Healthy Choice thingies that Julie suggested in the comments below, at some point. But for now I am all about the L.C.

This mini-pizza was 6 points, which is a smaller number of points than one slice of regular pizza, and is about the size of maybe two slices of a large pizza? I don't know exactly; I am bad at estimating.

I am not a person who likes pizza so much, or who eats it a lot. It has never been one of my favorite foods; only when I am in certain moods. (Oooh. Rhyming.) But this tasted like "real" pizza to me, and it was good, and it filled me up! For six points!

Let me also note that buying almonds this week was a bad idea. I have spent a lot of points this week on idly nibbling almonds. But buying frozen strawberries was a GREAT idea, and I'm only sorry I ran out of them. An entire bag full is only four points. (As opposed to a tiny handful of almonds for four points.) Next week, I'm buying two bags.
- posted by mo @ 1:29 PM

 
Tea II
More than one person (that's right, two people) have pointed me to today's Skinny Daily Post about tea and the haters of tea.

Actually, I stopped updating my tea post, but I have continued to drink at least one cup of tea per day. Today I tried Asian Jasmine White tea, which was very nice with a little sugar and milk. And I've gone back to the Gingerbread Spice tea, which I like better than my initial rating would suggest. I've also gone back to the Rose tea, so far my favorite.

Then yesterday, I got... another bag of tea! In the mail! Unexpectedly! From my friend Amy! I haven't brought it to work yet (running late today) but once I do, I will surely try the teas therein.

I do not "like" tea yet, but I do like it more than I did before, even to the point of getting vague tea-like hankerings. I wish it didn't get cold so quickly, though. Not-quite-hot tea is not-quite-so-good.
- posted by mo @ 12:43 PM

 
BLR: LC Broccoli and Roast Potatoes in Cheese Sauce
I've been trying to look for box lunches that are more "filling" -- that come with rice, for example, or potatoes in this case. In an effort to save my points (I am going out to dinner tonight) I went for this box lunch today, and it does the trick! I'm not sure how they manage to be so generous with the potatoes (really does seem like a lot) and slather it in cheese sauce, and have it be only 4 points. Really, Lean Cuisine is the bomb.

The trick to this one is: don't think too hard about the congealed cheese. And then it's great!
- posted by mo @ 12:30 PM

 
Mmm, Cookies


Picture by my favorite photographer, Dan.

Speaking of pictures, I added a "before and after" photo, which I love to see on other people's pages, but which I am ambivalent about for myself. The "before" photo isn't very flattering; I had just gotten off a train to Paris. I was really much cuter than that photo would suggest. But I don't have very many full-length shots, so it will have to do for now. At least I look happy! Of course, I used my red dress photo as the "after" photo.

The photo also is of me at my heaviest weight, when I was a size 24, long before I joined Weight Watchers. When I joined, I had already dropped down to a size 18. So it reflects a larger loss than 50 pounds. Maybe as many as 75?
- posted by mo @ 11:45 PM

 
Extra
I popped into Banana Republic on the way home to exchange a sweater that didn't fit quite right. I grabbed a bunch of stuff and dragged everything into the dressing room.

My favorite thing was this plain black shirt with a cream-colored silk ribbon at the collar. (It is this, but the picture is not as cute as the in-person shirt.) But I tried it on and for some reason, it looked a little weird. Not cute at all! It fit, but... what was wrong? Could it be?

I tentatively asked for a smaller sized shirt. He brought a Large. I put on the Large. Lo and behold: cuteness! It fit! Not only do I now have a very cute shirt (much cuter than the picture) but it is a size Large. I thought my own surprise was interesting; it barely even occured to me as a possibility. I am still giddy from being an XL instead of a Fatty Clothes Size.

I know that sizing is imperfect and doesn't really mean very much, I know that. But tonight, according to Banana Republic, I am not small; I am not medium; I am not extra large. I am Large.

And Large feels good.
- posted by mo @ 7:56 PM

 
10 Things
I was so excited to see all the introductory comments in this post, so I put a perma-link in the sidebar so we can all keep track of each other. Wonderful to have everyone here!

At work on Sunday, I was reading the paper and found an article about the "10 best nutrition moves." When I did my grocery shopping for the week, I tried to think about this list. It's a great way to think about eating more healthfully, not just trying to lose 13.5 pounds before my birthday. (Again, having the urge there to say that I am trying to lose the precioussss. Someone needs to help me.)

1. Eat seven to nine servings of fruits and vegetables a day. I have started having a banana almost every day. I snack on grape tomatoes when I get hungry. I also bought a bag of frozen strawberries. We had a bag of them in our office freezer after the Waffle Party and Art Show a few weeks back, and they make a great snack. They satisfy the sugar craving, and it takes a long time to eat them, because they are frozen! And they are fruit! It's perfect!

2. Eat fatty fish two or three times a week. I love salmon, so this is no hardship. It is becoming a staple when I eat out at restaurants. And I had salmon for dinner last night.

3. Restrict red meat to once or twice a week. I don't eat red meat, not for at least seven years. Which is good, because this magazine says that carcinogens can form in red meat when it is cooked. No thank you!

4. Eat 25 grams of fiber a day. I bought some Fiber One cereal, which has 14 grams per serving. I also had four slices of toast for breakfast, for a total of 14 grams. I don't really know the fiber counts of veggies and fruits and things, but I am trying, anyway. I need to get some more of those bran muffins. They are fiberiffic!

5. Use olive oil primarily. Sure, whatever. I don't cook.

6. Eat "good" carbs. This is a very broad way to describe what I am trying to do: fewer Starbucks muffins, more fruits. Yes.

7. Drink three or more cups of tea a day. See? See?! This is why I am trying to learn to love tea. It cuts the risk of heart disease and mental decline, among other things. But three cups? Man, that's a lot of tea.

8. Eat nuts every day. Where did I read about a study where 500 extra calories of nuts per day did not hinder weight loss, but in fact helped it? I read that really recently. I'm not sure if I believe it, but I bought some organic almonds to snack on, and I also got some reduced fat peanut butter. It seems like nuts are disproportionately high in points. (Are 15 almonds really all you get for four points?) But they cut the risk of Parkinson's disease and diabetes, and they help control weight.

9. Shave portions by one-third to half. That's where the whole points come in, yes.

10. Take a daily multivitamin. I did this today! I think this might finally be becoming a habit.

I had fun going through this list. What do you guys think? Do you do all these things? What about this issue with the nuts? What's up with that?
- posted by mo @ 1:14 PM

 
"Too Fat"
I always thought I was too fat for certain things, such as horseback riding, sitting on the back of a motorcycle, or anything requiring me to wear a wetsuit. But I must have gotten over that, at least to some extent, because I spent last night riding up and down the hills of San Francisco on the back of a Vespa.

Whee!
- posted by mo @ 12:29 PM

 
The Report
I did not reclaim my 50 pound magnet -- but almost! I lost 4 pounds this week, which is an amazing one-week loss for me, and I'm very happy with that. I'm at 49.6 pounds lost and 213.4 pounds, both good numbers. (Yes, we're talking damn numbers again.)

I decided to set myself a mini-goal, and its going to be an aggressive one. I calculated the number of weeks until my birthday (9) and the weight I'd lose with a 1.5 pound average loss every week (13.5) and that would put me at exactly 200 pounds on my birthday, which is too elegant not to strive for, don't you think?

The goal isn't in place just for the sake of the damn numbers; it's there to help keep me focused in the weeks ahead. I have the skinny feeling back and I'm feeling overall great, but the whole six pound thing was a little troubling. It's scary how the weight can come back so easily, so much easier than it is taken off.

I am going to try a couple of things during this nine-week time period (which I clearly need a clever name for) (I am such a nerd because the first thing I thought was that it's a birthday present to myself, and then I wondered if there was a way I could call it my preciousss. Don't worry, I won't) such as "planning ahead" and "exercise."

Planning ahead means I need to go grocery shopping today. In addition to my box lunches, I seem to do well with a loaf of soy crunch bread on hand (I have sliced banana on it for breakfast and honey on toast for a snack, and it has protein and everything) and some fruit and things to snack on.

Exercise is important too. My boss invited me to try her bikram yoga class with her one day, and I'm definitely going to take her up on it. There's also the possibility of the fancy gym and my schedule clearing up a lot, both of which would mean good things. As soon as I get a tune-up on Britney, I can take her to the redwoods, finally!

So that's my plan. I hope to lose 1.5 pounds this week, in keeping with my overall goal, which will once again justify my possession of a certain magnet.
- posted by mo @ 12:16 PM

 
Friday Wrap-Up
Tomorrow I weigh in after that abysmal six pound gain last week. And I promise to change my stats this time, whatever they may be.

All-in-all, I think I've had a good week. Yesterday I went out for Greek food, no idea how many points that was but I counted it as 15 and I hope that was enough. I ended up having a point left over at the end of the day.

The day before that I was two points under. The day before THAT I had some cheesecake, so... so much for that day. The day before that I went out for Thai food and about seventeen alcoholic beverages. The day before that I was okay. The day before that also okay, and I see that I've written "LET'S DO IT!" at the top of my food journal, leading me to wonder, who exactly is "us" there? Questions, questions...

Today I have 10 points left, but I have dinner plans. If I were allowing FlexPoints into the equation, I'm sure I'd have enough left over. But I am not down with the Flex this week, and so I'm going to try and be smart. Keep your fingers crossed for me; tomorrow is the big day.

Diet 7UP is pretty good.


- posted by mo @ 1:58 PM

 
Hellooooo There
I thought it would be cute if all you comment-posting people introduced yourselves in the comments. (If you want to, that is.) I'm curious to know who you are, where you live, if you have a weight-loss weblog, how your progress is going, and if you ever feel compelled to eat cookies until you pass out. Because sometimes I feel that way, and its nice to know I'm not alone. Or if you aren't a weight-loss blog person, what brings you here?

Anyway, just curious. I hope people post some intros so I don't feel lame for this.
- posted by mo @ 1:46 PM

 
Now I'm Hungry
"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Thin feels better than gooey chocolate and marshmallow in my mouth. Thin feels better than my tongue under a blanket of fried pork chops smothered in gravy. But wait a minute. Plush red velvet feels better than thin. And cheddar cheese tastes better than plush red velvet. So what does thin minus plush red velvet plus cheddar cheese equal? Wait, I know this one: Homemade macaroni and cheese!"

--from The Morning News, by way of K.T., sponsored by AOL Instant Messenger


- posted by mo @ 11:44 AM

 
Numerology
I can tell I've lost weight this week. The "skinny" feeling that I had when I went on vacation is back again. My jeans feel loose, my coat feels a little big, and I look at myself and see "normal" or "cute plumpie" instead of "giant fat thing." Yet I know that I don't look substantively different than I did yesterday. It is such a mindfuck, it really is.

I see all these teeny, wee women at work who are trying to lose weight, and it seems so ridiculous to me. I don't ever want to be a size six girl desperately trying to sweat my way into a size four. I mean, I am 5'10" tall, and I've never even been "average" size, much less skinny. I'm not meant to be a size four. But even so, I think these girls are being too hard on themselves. They are so beautiful and don't seem to see it.

I got my new scale in the mail (thank you, LB) and it says I weigh 212.5 pounds. I just had to laugh at the idea that this scale might say one thing, the WW scale will say something else, the doctor's scale will say something else. I was struck with the thought that the numbers are a little more arbitrary than I have been making them out to be.

I've been so obsessed with the idea of getting back to that "50-pound" mark, but now I think that what I really wanted to get back was the skinny feeling. Now that it's back, let the digital numbers fall where they may. I'm happy.

(Also, just to prove that these sorts of guys do exist, here's a quote for you: "You do whatever you need to do for yourself, and for your health. But I want you to know that I wouldn't change a thing about you. You're absolutely perfect.")
- posted by mo @ 10:00 AM

 
I Feel Extra-Posty
With an extra-short attention span today. But I wanted to make sure you all were aware of the traditional feast of Tablemas, which was celebrated not too long ago. And the food was delicious!
- posted by mo @ 3:42 PM

 
Food Journal
Lowfat blueberry muffin from Starbucks: 6 points
Double tall nonfat caramel macchiato (light vanilla): 3 points
Handful of yummy almonds from our new client: 3 points
Box lunch with cheese ravioli: 5 points
Soy crunch bread with honey: 2 points
Entire container of grape tomatoes: 0 points
Two multivitamins: 0 points
Water: 0 points

Total thus far: 19 points
Points left: 7 points
Level of healthfulness: could be worse
- posted by mo @ 1:29 PM

 
Box Lunch Review: LC Cheese Ravioli in Chunky Tomato Sauce
Six sizeable raviolis filled with delightfully cheesey-tasting cheese, in your standard tomato basil sauce. Very surprised to find this was only five points. It hit the spot exactly right. I will definitely be buying this one again!
- posted by mo @ 12:57 PM

 
In Vino Caloritas
According to my calculations, I was five points over yesterday. If I'd only stopped at half a bottle of wine at dinner... or maybe not had lunch in a bar... Hey, I just realized I had lunch in an Irish pub, and then spent half the night drinking in a different Irish pub. Your typical Monday.

Anyway, I feel okay about it. We did a lot of walking around the city, so that helps. And when I got very lost in trying to find a nonexistent bus and wandered around for half an hour. I think that knocks off a few activity points right there.

My ring seems like it's gotten looser, which I don't understand. Unless I've magically lost all six pounds already and wouldn't that be nice?

The benefits at this company include a free, full membership to a very swanky gym. Not that I have anything to say at the present time about me and the getting of those benefits. I'm just saying. Isn't that nice?
- posted by mo @ 11:42 AM

 
Help?
I have been trying to Google this but have not been very successful. I am going out for Thai food tonight and want to know what I can order for a reasonable number of points. Vegetarian pad thai is apparently only 5 points, but I don't know if I like pad thai or at least, I want more choices! Does anyone have any ideas? I know enough to avoid my favorite, thai iced tea. But how much is the chicken satay with the peanut sauce? A million?
- posted by mo @ 2:37 PM

 
Obrigada! Gracias Again!
I have no idea what this person is saying about me, but I am amusing myself over here by trying to guess! I definitely see "extraordinary lives" in there somewhere. Is the language Portuguese? Is "gracias" correct? [Edited to say, apparently not.] [Edited again to say, wait, yes it is.]

While I'm doing the Sims linkback thing, also I loved getting this mention, which sent a lot of fun traffic my way. Thanks, John Scalzi! I tried to hook up your Sim with Eowyn, but she wasn't having it.
- posted by mo @ 12:51 PM

 
Chunging
I've been doing okay the past two days, squeaking my way right up against the 26 point target. I bike rode on Saturday and then worked on Sunday, leaving my body aching both days. Today I had for breakfast: two pieces of soy crunch bread with sliced banana, and tangerine juice. Six points total. I am getting into very good breakfast habits here at work. I even took vitamins!

I am going out for my Monday lunch menage in a few minutes. I will have to find something for very few points because I have to save some for my dinner-and-drinks tonight.

I stocked up on Lean Cuisines for the week as well, and bought some grape tomatoes and blueberries to snack on. I am arming myself for victory and I plan to lose at least forty-seven pounds this week. That's reasonable, right?

At least the poochy has gone into hiding. Maybe its the jeans! Or maybe it's Maybelline.
- posted by mo @ 12:40 PM

 
Shape
As in "out of." As in, what I am when I try and get on a bike!

That might not be entirely fair. I didn't get a chance to pump up my tires and of course, as a result, they were kind of flat. And my bike needs a tune-up. But also, my muscles are achy after that 3.4 mile bike ride -- different muscles from my "walking up hills" muscles which have been coming along rather nicely. These are long-neglected Britney muscles.

Then I took myself off to see Girl with a Pearl Earring which featured a very broody Colin Firth and some lovely cinematography. Now I'm going to take a hot shower. I am living the wild life over here! S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!

(Well, I went out the past two nights. I'm not so lame.)
- posted by mo @ 9:27 PM

 
Fuck Off, Scale!
I could write a much better pissed-off entry if I weren't in such a happy mood. I just made a nice little wad of cash for some tutoring, and after my Conference Call of Crap this afternoon -- which will suck, make no mistake -- I am going to go for a bike ride. It is gorgeous outside! I just need to find my headphones. They could be anywhere at this point.

Oh, right, the weigh-in. As you may have surmised, it did not go well. I gained over SIX POUNDS, people. SIX. POUNDS. I can't even look at the numbers right now. I can't turn my back on my pretty, pretty stats with the pretty, pretty 50 pounds on them. SIX...

This weight is coming off. I know it, you know it, and soon, my ass will know it. (Speaking of my ass, did I mention I have new, very cute yoga pants? It is very hard for me to feel fat in these new, very cute yoga pants.) It's a minor setback, and I am not going to let it derail me. The upsetting thing is that I'd had a good week. If I'd weighed in last week, I shudder to think.

Aah well. I have yoga pants, and a bike ride to look forward to. And I hope within a couple of weeks, I will be back together with my pretty, pretty 50 pound magnet. The separation is hard. But I will weather it!
- posted by mo @ 1:23 PM

 
Friday?
I am so excited that I get to weigh in tomorrow. Seriously, it's been too frickin long. (Did I just say "frickin"? As if it were an actual word? Okay, then.)

Last week, I felt like the fattest person who has ever waddled the earth. But ever since my womanly time arrived (what a coincidence) I feel better. Partially, it's that I'm no longer bloated. But mostly it's the mental thing.

I don't feel like a gigantic moose anymore, but I still think the bathroom mirror makes me look fat. I have lost the feeling of skinny that I had when I first went on vacation and everyone told me I was so skinny.

I want to know what the reality of my weight situation is. Did I gain five pounds? Did I gain twenty pounds? Did I maintain? Tomorrow morning, we'll all find out.
- posted by mo @ 2:18 PM

 
Tea Report (Ongoing)
The topic of tea has been going strong for the last few days; there are over 25 comments in that entry! Clearly, people have enthusiasm on the tea issue.

Shaie was nice enough to send me a starter kit of tea, and it arrived yesterday. That was fast! There are a bunch of kinds of tea, some kind of silver tea holder, and detailed instructions on how to drink each of the teas for maximum tea enjoyment. I'm hoping that I can keep editing this post when I try the different teas without hurting the comments. Anyway, here we go!

Tea #1: Celestial Seasonings Gingerbread Spice
Prepared with: a little bit of honey, a splash of milk
Rating: 6 (out of 10)
This tea smells so very, very, very good. And I love gingerbread! This is a great way to ease myself into the world of tea. I guess I would count this as one point? It's probably more like half a point. I would definitely drink this again. It still has this "tea" quality that I'm not quite sure about, though.

Tea #2: Rose Tea by Golden Moon Tea Co.
Prepared with: a tiny bit of sugar, a splash of milk
Rating: 8.5 (out of 10)
I have to leave room at the top since this is only tea #2 (I am like an Olympic judge) but this is some goooood tea. I mean, I enthusiastically enjoy this tea. It smells like roses. It tastes like roses! And I got to make it with a little tea ball, which by the way I have no idea how to use. I put in a random amount of tea, threw the tea ball in there, and fished it out with a spoon. This tastes like ROSES! It is good!

Tea #3: Kashmiri Chai by Golden Moon Tea Co.
Prepared with: honey (we are out of milk)
Rating: 7 (out of 10)
I only wish this tea tasted as good as it smells. Coffee is the same way (it always smells better than it tastes) but I've learned to experience the coffee smell and the coffee taste as two separate sensory experiences. This tea makes me feel let down when I drink it, because the smell is so incredible. I really wish I had some milk for this, but basically what that means is I want a chai latte. Made with this really good chai.

- posted by mo @ 11:42 AM

 
Box Lunch Review: LC Oriental Pot Stickers
Okay, I was a little skeptical when I saw it in the box, because it did not look good. It was, however, good! Very yummy potstickers (four of them) with chicken and veggies, with a soy and ginger sauce of some type. The rice was a little bland but filling, and the veggies were nice and crisp.

I have 7 points left for the day because of my popcorn math. (Six extra points last night.) I am trying to save 4 of them so I can have a bran muffin later, when I get super hungry. Why does it seem like I'm always out of points? Anyway, this box lunch was 6 points and good.
- posted by mo @ 2:00 PM

 
Little Ups
I bought vitamins yesterday. I took vitamins yesterday and this morning! I am on a roll with the vitamins. Also, I am taking cranberry pills until my Mexican pharmacy drugs arrive. I think they are helping! I'm glad I'm no longer popping Cystex pills like breath mints.

I wonder if the vitamins will make me perky and things. Just reading the label makes me feel virtuous. I am full of niacin and riboflavin! I am replete with manganese and folic acid! There will be no stopping me!

I also bought some sprouted soy crunch bread (not magical in terms of points, but there is a lot of fiber and protein) and a banana, which I had for breakfast. I brought grapes to snack on. I am having a very healthful day thus far.

Yesterday I almost bought a scale. It didn't help that it was a funky, fun Target scale. I ultimately decided against it because I didn't want to spend the money. (That's also why I didn't buy the shredder, though I probably need a shredder.) Also I'm not sure if it would be a good or a bad idea. Would it give me an excuse to miss Weight Watcher meetings? Or would it be a good way to make sure I am on track all the time?

If you guys have scales, maybe you could weigh in ("pardon the pun") in the comments. Do you have one? How often do you weigh yourself? What do you think? Please keep in mind that the scale in question is very pretty.
- posted by mo @ 11:16 AM

 
What's With Today, Today?
Every single member of my family is having a terrible, terrible day today. All for different reasons. You wouldn't even believe the half of it. Physical assault, theft, last-minute travel arrangements, hospitalization, emergency therapy sessions, fighting, heartbreak, financial troubles, police reports... I can't even go into it.

I ended up with a splitting headache, and I got off easy in comparison to the rest of my family. I have slowed down my consumption of the giant gingerbread man, which is a good sign I think. But I did grab a large hunk of it at the height of my stress. Then I thought of that quote, "There's no situation in life so bad that it can't be made worse by overeating." So I stopped at the one piece, and then just went to bed.
- posted by mo @ 10:06 PM

 
Box Lunch Review: LC Honey-Glazed Chicken
Well it was honey-something, I think. Almond crusted breaded chicken breast with potatoes on the side. And only 5 points! This is the first box lunch I have ever eaten where I feel like I have had an actual meal. It didn't taste great, just adequate. But a chicken breast and a potato! For 5 points! I would get it again.

Later, I'm going to have one of those Smart Ones dessert things. Like a tiny fake eclair. That should take the edge off. I just want to wait as long as possible, so I have something to look forward to... let's see, it's almost 1:00 now. I'm going to aim for 2:00: eclair. We'll see how it goes.

That's right. A box lunch and the anticipation of a tiny fake eclair. What have I become?
- posted by mo @ 12:46 PM

 
Weak
I hate not having weighed in for so long, I really do. It makes me feel out of control, and when I feel out of control, I eat.

Why do I always want what is bad for me? I wish it were possible for me to have bad things in small quantities, but it's not always. Sometimes I have to cut something out entirely because once I have a taste, my resistence is gone. Yesterday I was doing so well until I got home and ate a giant gingerbread man. I had "a bite" and that turned into the entire man. A huge gingerbread man. Like the equivalent of a box of cookies, probably. Also my boobies hurt, so maybe it's just that time again.

I have to keep trying again and trying again. I don't want to go in a bad direction, I want to go in a good direction. It's just that I am a sensualist, and I like giving my body whatever it craves. Even if what it craves is bad for me.
- posted by mo @ 12:20 PM

 
Tea, Anyone?
It's cold in San Francisco today. It's a good day to drink tea, which in turn is a no-calorie, comforting, healthy thing to drink. Which is all well and good, except I don't like tea.

I am determined to try more tea this year. I've tried all of Starbucks' teas, but I don't like them much. And now I'm going to try every damn variety of tea in our kitchen. I don't want to get involved with sweetener or milk, though. Just straight up tea. Free points! Hot beverage! Come on, taste buds. Get with the program.

I've changed my mind about a lot of foods over the years. I never used to like cheesecake or fruit pies, but now I like them. (Some cheesecake, anyway. I had a slice of white chocolate raspberry truffle cheesecake over the holiday. Good lord.) So if I can teach myself to like desserts, why can't I teach myself to like tea? (I realize that the answer to that is very obvious.)

I like iced tea. I like green tea ice cream. I like chai sweetened with honey. I just don't like that "tea" flavor. Right now I am drinking cinnamon apple herbal tea. I am trying to convince myself that it doesn't suck.
- posted by mo @ 12:23 PM

 
Kicking and Screaming
I am having a tough time returning to normal eating habits. I had a good dinner (a broccoli and mushroom salad with garlic) and a WW chocolate mousse for dessert, but I also gave in to the temptations of the apple fritter, the chocolate croissant, and the eggnog. This is haarrrrd.

And my work pants weren't loose; I put on the wrong pants. Oops.

I went to Andy's (the supermarket local to my work) on my lunch break and got some Lean Cuisines for the week. They were having a sale, and my choice was literally down to six kinds of meals, two of which contain beef, which I don't eat. Slim pickings, but at least they only cost $1.25 each, right? They didn't have my bread, though. My magical no-point bread. Damn the man.

I think the best way to regroup is to get into exercise. I think that I want to shift focus a little bit (once I get my sea legs back, anyway) and be more about eating veggies, taking vitamins, and getting exercise. I need to get a little more serious than I have heretofore been. But in the interest of not being too hard on myself, I'm going to take it slow. I hope I will be back on track before next week's weigh-in, and that the weigh-in won't be too scary.

If I get off work on time tomorrow, I am going to try and catch a yoga class at the center by my house. Or at least do a workout video of some type. I'm hoping that exercise will be a jump start for me, and also that I can grope my way back onto the wagon.

Expect extra-bloggityness as I struggle with this.
- posted by mo @ 10:09 PM

 
Back, Yo
I'm back, and so is my computer! I got the new Sims expansion pack (Makin' Magic, it's called) for Christmas, and I am excited to play it. (Could this mean that the Sims section of this site will actually be updated? I would say yes!)

I unpacked the computer yesterday, and now it is all ghetto-style on my floor. I immediately degragged the hard drive and otherwise cleaned up my machine while I watched one of my Christmas DVDs, Three's Company season one. Hee! Sadly, I have to go to work in 20 minutes. No Sims for me! At least not today. And no entry yet, either. So much to write about...

I haven't gotten on the scale yet since I got back; next week, I suppose, I will go to the meeting. I am going to try and be virtuous all week, in compensation for my sins. I don't mind gaining a little bit in theory, but oh, I don't want to drop back below that magical 50 pound loss.

I went out for breakfast with Wade and Foo this morning, and I estimate that at 15 points. I have 10 points remaining, and am going to have to stay away from the Starbucks goodies (eggnog, I am looking at you). I really feel as if I've gained 20 pounds over vacation, but my work pants are fitting a little loose, which is a good sign, I hope.

Stay tuned for updates of all sorts! Happy new year!
- posted by mo @ 12:50 PM