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I'm toying with the idea of starting a new weight loss blog (fresh start and comment notification and all that) but haven't thought of anything to call it yet. I'll keep you posted.
Anyway, I was very very very brave today and went to my Weight Watchers meeting. As I was driving across town I thought of a bunch of reasons I shouldn't go: I can't afford the weekly fee. They'll make me pay for missing the past two weeks. They'll scold me because I gained the 3.8 pounds back. I don't have time. I should go shopping instead. I'll go next week.
Last week, after I missed my second meeting in a row, Weight Watchers sent me an encouraging postcard in the mail that said "We're here for you!" Believe it or not, thinking about that postcard helped me decide to go. I knew the ladies at Weight Watchers would be kind and encouraging, regardless of the number on the scale. Also, if I was going to get back on track this week, I wanted to be rewarded next week with a loss.
What happened the past two weeks? Well I went camping, but mostly my eating was totally off the rails. I ate Jack in the Box, pizza, sandwiches, candy, pita chips which are a million points, and more. There's a bakery right by the Starbucks right by campus; I had more than one breakfast consisting of a chocolate chip cookie. In other words, I was totally out of control. By the time I get to my second job, I've been up for hours and hours and I'm so hungry, but I can't have lunch until 3, by which time I am ready to eat THE ENTIRE WORLD, and so I do. The schedule hasn't been good, the eating hasn't been good, it just all around hasn't been good.
In a complete "gift from the gods" moment, I had lost another pound, bringing my total loss down to 4.8 for the past month. That is a freaking miracle. The lesson here is that if you feel out of control, you will lose touch with your body to the extent that you can convince yourself you're gaining when you're losing, and probably vice versa. The other lesson is that going to meetings is good, if you need the meetings to help you. Which I definitely do.
We also did "storyboarding" today, where you have to figure out your goal and how to get there. My goal was to stop feeling self-conscious about my fat ALL THE TIME. My mini-goals are: 1) Get to the 5-pound mark, 2) Join the gym, 3) Work out on my lunch break at least once this week. If I can do this, my reward will be to buy an item of clothing that makes me feel good about myself.
I may be significantly overweight, but I'm not significantly above the place where I at least feel good about myself and not like I'm splooging all over the place. I want to get back to that place, and now I have a plan to get there.
http://www.fitnessblogs.org/cgi-bin/portal/in.cgi?id=125
