Deep Thoughts

Do you feel like doing some deep thinking today? this post by Savy of Shaping My Way asks if the world, in catering to the overweight, is actually, subtly making people overweight.

"So, how do we save ourselves? Where is the line between a reasonable accommodation for every person (because people deserve to be able to participate in the world, regardless of size - I fully believe that, so please don't misunderstand) and a disservice to our society as a whole? Is it fair to make this a world that accommodates overweight/obese people before normal weight people?"

I don't think this post is in any way a knee-jerk antifat reaction, although I do detect a hint of the whole smug-ex-smoker in her attitude. I find the idea that our world is going to cater to fat people--much less pressure people to be overweight--somewhat laughable. But it's still worth thinking about. Is society an enabler? Is it important for us to suffer and to be uncomfortable, on top of all the ridicule, in order to motivate us to lose weight and be healthy? Are longer seatbelts and wider airplane seats a bad idea?

In my opinion, the thin person would never even think about accomodations like that. When I lost weight, I simply stopped worrying if the seat belt would fit around me, because I knew it always would. On the other hand, I am a firm believer in throwing away your fat pants, because hanging onto them means you're giving yourself implicit permission to get fat all over again. So suddenly I don't know what I think. What do you think?

Stand By Your Woman

Recently, an obese woman who didn't realize she was pregnant gave birth to a son. This article discusses the hateful comments that have been directed at this woman on a newspaper website due to her size, as well as comments made by the woman (April Branum) and her fiance(Walter Edwards II) in her defense.

"'I just glanced at the comments, and I was, like, "whatever,"' Branum, 39, said in a recent interview. 'Being big all your life, you expect it. I'm sure there are more people who think it but just don't say it.'

Walter Edwards II – her fiancé and the baby's father – reacted less nonchalantly, calling The Orange County Register to complain about the hateful, uncensored comments being posted about Branum, whose obesity likely prevented her from being aware of the pregnancy. "If I could reach through my computer and strangle them, I would," Edwards said.

With Branum's story, readers commented on her sexual relations with her fiancé, her eating and exercise habits, and her abilities as a mother. Some comments were removed by staff because of a policy prohibiting vulgarity and personal attacks."

Some people have cancelled their subscriptions due to these comments, but April Branum herself seems too busy with her newborn to be bothered too much. There are pictures accompanying the article. And really, no matter what you think of the parents, that is one cute baby.

Ohmigod Again, You Guys

There's a new and satisfying coda to our story of the sorority that kicked out all of its minority and overweight members: they've been permanently kicked off the DePauw University campus.

"'We at DePauw do not like the way our students were treated,' DePauw’s president, Robert G. Bottoms, said in a letter to the Delta Zeta sorority. In addition to [an] apology, the sorority posted statements critical of the women forced out of the DePauw chapter and of faculty members who supported them… Dr. Bottoms cited the sorority’s decision to publicize that criticism as contributing to his decision."

Thanks to Kaylin for the tip!

Dear Nigel Lythgoe: I am fat and I have sex and get naked. A lot. Thank you.

I'm a little late to the party with this, but I've been really bothered by the fact that Frenchie Davis was unceremoniously kicked off the second season of American Idol for topless photos on the internet, while X-rated photos of Antonella Barba emerged that show her topless while actually engaged in the act of sex (Granted, not according to the Clintonian definition, but we'll go with the definition of the current White House administration, shall we?) and yet we were still subjected to weeks of her tone deaf warbling until America collectively spat her out.

One argument is that Davis was paid for modeling while Barba is just a cheap date. But what is also interesting is that Davis claims that she disclosed the existence of the photos to AI producers from the start, while I somehow doubt that Barba disclosed her night of too many Flirtinis with her date and his camera phone.

Davis is black, plus-sized, and immensely talented. Barba is white, looks like a Bratz doll, and has marginal vocal ability. While there have been black idols and overweight idols that have gone quite far, do the producers prefer their Idols lumped into one of two categories: either you're a sex symbol or you are nontraditionally attractive yet powerfully talented. And while it is possible to be sexy and talented (see Clarkson, Kelly), please don't remind the nation that fat people have sex.

Is it justified that Frenchie got shown the door while Antonella continued to perform each week? Am I just being over-sensitive to fatism and continuing to show my bias toward plus-sized Idol contestants? Would Mandisa have been kicked out if candid photos had surfaced of her giving her man some oral pleasure?

Model Thinking

Catching up with Too Fat for Fashion, I came across this post meditating on the thin ideal, especially in the modeling world:

"People genuinely believe what they're saying; people believe clothes look better on the thin, the slim, the tall. I sometimes believe it, even though I 'know' differently. How have we learned to see this way, and how do we learn to see differently? One cover girl or one plus-size model isn't enough, because they will automatically look 'wrong' set amongst other bodies of a thinner type. "

The whole blog post is great, and at the moment, I have nothing to add. I just wanted to make sure you didn't miss it.

Ohmigod You Guys

In the comments to the previous post, Jenn alerted us to this article, about an Indiana sorority named Delta Zeta that had a reputation of being "socially awkward" and responded by kicking out 23 of their members.

"The 23 members included every woman who was overweight. They also included the only black, Korean and Vietnamese members. The dozen students allowed to stay were slender and popular with fraternity men — conventionally pretty women the sorority hoped could attract new recruits. Six of the 12 were so infuriated they quit."

Of course the sorority is claiming it was "mischaractarized" and had something to do with fundraising or something. Brava to those six "conventionally pretty" women who quit. And what does that say about the other six, who stayed in? So much for sisterhood.

Fat People: Stop Being Happy.

Anne Diamond, a British television personality, has a column in the Daily Mail, called "Why you can never be fat and happy."

It shouldn't - but fat demeans you, even in your own eyes...I was already divorced, but it is at this stage that many people turn away from their partner, and turn instead to the fridge. Outside my family, the closest relationship I had was with a packet of Hobnobs.

When you're fat, you dread getting dressed in the mornings because you hate all your fat clothes, and you dread going to bed at night feeling a failure because you've eaten a Malteser.

Because that is what it all boils down to. Fat people spend their entire lives hating themselves, wearing stretch pants and t-shirts and being ashamed to be looked at. Her experience struck some nerves with me, but I have spent a lot of my fat life deliberately working against every single thing she said, and I have ended up happy. It is hard to be fat, but Anne Diamond, you just made it harder on yourself.

The moral of the story: What's really demeaning? This article.

A Girl Can Dream

Another article about employment discrimination against the overweight. It does have the usual depressing statistics about the overweight being fired more often and paid less and "we don't want a fat receptionist" and all that. However, there is a small ray of hope:

"When two competing candidates are equally qualified, often it is not their appearance that ultimately hurts the overweight candidate, it is his or her self-confidence...if a candidate is really outstanding, their size will not be an issue."

It would be nice to think that the discrimination isn't as bad as we fear, and that we are the only people who stand in our own way, wouldn't it? Who knows, maybe it's even true. Thanks to Kari for the tip.