|
Head & Arms Outside The Car... |
Go Back |
|
I have to make a decision about grad school by April 26. Well, on that day I have to accept or decline the scholarship to USF. I’m currently in a period of limbo… I don’t know if I can afford to buy a car if I’m in grad school. Hell, I don’t know if I can afford grad school. And I don’t even want to wonder how much the surgery is going to be, if it comes down to that. I started shopping around for car loans and apartments, and realizing that this move, if it happens, is going to be ‘spensive. And the car is going to be ‘spensive, too, because I forgot about a little thing called APR. (What’s a good APR, anyway? Anyone?) So I was floating around the web yesterday, and I floated to the USF web site, and I found out something interesting. The guy who called me to do my phone interview told me there was no campus housing for graduate students, but the web site says that there is. (Of course I’m going to believe the web site, because everything on the internet is true. Everybody knows that.) Campus housing would make this adventure a whole lot easier. I can add the cost of housing into a student loan or something, and then be golden.
Matt and I talked about our future yesterday. We decided that the most mature, rational thing to do is probably to have a long distance relationship for two years. Neither of us wants to hold the other one back. His career is in a really good place right now: he’s respected, he likes his work, and a raise and promotion are on the horizon. And you all know how important grad school is to me. We don’t want to end up resenting each other, and we’re confident that our relationship can withstand a little separation. Since his car will be paid off by that time, and since he may get a raise, we will have enough money to see each other frequently (read: Matt will have money and I’ll be living off Top Ramen). If we meet in the middle, it’s just a four hour drive for each of us, and that’s not so bad. The more I think about it, it may even be good for our relationship. We can’t take each other for granted if we aren’t in each other’s faces all the time. And we lived together before we even started dating… I think it might be good for each of us to live alone for a while. It will be a growth experience. Of course, just now I’m also feeling a little insecure about our relationship, because we didn’t really celebrate our anniversary. I’d really feel better if I had a little romantic affirmation right about now, because the prospect of living apart for the better part of two years is, well, a little scary. Intellectually, I think it’s smart. Emotionally, I don’t want my baby to be far away from me. Deep down, I’m not worried. I honestly think we can do it, and I’m 100% committed to making it work. I’d just like some evidence that he’s committed, too. (Baby, if you’re reading this, I like white gold. And sapphires are very nice.) I appropriated xeney’s forum to discuss this long distance relationship issue. If you want to, you can head over there and read what people have to say, or give me some very public advice. I keep thinking of how fun it would be to have a tiny little apartment in SF. I could meet all the Northern California journalers. I could make new friends. I could sleep on a futon, and buy a tiny little TV and VCR. (Or, Abby’s graduating this summer. Maybe I could borrow hers!) I could bring my favorite books and movies with me, and my computer, of course. And Cassie. And Flicka. I’d need to buy a printer. And a phone… These little details are exciting to me. I feel like I’m on the brink of a grand adventure—an E-ticket ride with my head and arms outside the car, and plenty of food and drink on board. And if the man says no flash photography? Then damn the
man.
|
What
I'm Reading:
Nothing, nothing, nothing.  Tomato.Journal Quote of the Day: “I cannot even pretend to look interested in a conversation about how the whites on someone's bed don't match -- see, the pillow shams are new, but the down comforter is a few months old, so they aren't quite the same color white. The fuck? Who worries about things like that? I mean, really.”Random Tidbit: Ask Jesus makes me laugh. |
