You know the face that Angie Jolie makes on all the posters? That defiant, "I am invincible" sort of aloof look? She has that expression on her face pretty much throughout the entire film.

I know she's a playing video game character. I know this and yet, I am unable to forgive Angelina Jolie in this film. She's such a fine actor, so capable of subtlety and depth. Sure, she has charisma in this film; she always has charisma. But it's not particularly interesting to watch her archly defeat one villain after another with the same small smile on her face for two hours.

Perhaps the plot would help. Except that the plot is unbelievably, utterly stupid. I cannot recall a film with more plot holes in it. Why does she suddenly break into a room of her house for no reason exactly when she needs to find what is hidden there? Why doesn't she destroy the first half of the triangle when she gets it? Why does she turn over the triangle to the villain? Why does her father tell her she shouldn't change time, only to show her changing time in the very next scene? Why does the villain spend hours ripping into the front of a temple when there's a back door right around the corner? Why does her father send the letter to her a mere 48 hours before the event she's trying to stop, when he wrote the letter years and years before? Why? For the love of God and all that is holy, why?

Some of the special effects are okay, and a few of the stunts are cool. I do like the flying on the wires scene, the sled-less dog sledding, the stone gorillas, the statue coming to life, and the backwards wheelie. But for the most part, it is all very "eh." There is eye candy in this movie, but not enough to make it really worthwhile.

My sister might disagree, though. As I was ranting about one stupid plot loophole or another, she leaned over to me and said, "Just watch her boobs. Trust me. It helps."

And that, my friends, is a perfect eight word review of Tomb Raider.