Moey was unhappy, not only because of the horrifying décor, but because she lived with two flaming homosexuals. All Moey wanted was to escape her Tiki torment, and get herself some sweet hetero lovin'.

"Please... at least send us some new carpeting..."

Moey confided all her hopes and dreams in her pet parrot, Lucifer.

"I mean this WALLPAPER, for the love of god..."

One day, Moey heard about a cult that was forming on the other side of town. Moey was attracted to all things dark and sinister, and had high hopes of being able to become the sexual plaything of the cult's leader. So she packed her bags and headed to the cult headquarters: a brand new compound in the shape of a peace sign.

"Pastels? A peace sign? This better be some kind of sick ironic joke..."

When she met the charismatic cult leader, Tim Pie, Moey immediately felt her loins stirring. She wasn't sure what exactly he was talking about, but it seemed dark and sinister to her, and that turned her way on.

"The sun will be obscured by heavy grey clouds..."

She was immediately smitten. Visions of total global domination (and kinky sex involving pudding) danced in her head.

It was when the singalongs started that she began to worry...

"Kumbaya?! Perhaps this cult isn't quite as evil as I thought..."

After spending a little more time with Tim Pie, she discovered that he had a one track mind. But not the track that she was hoping for. All he could think about was peace.

"You want to help stockpile ammunition? You're not really getting the concept of my Peace cult, are you? Let me explain it again."

And so Moey discovered, to her dismay, that she was not in a cult of exploitation, bestiality and cool whip. Instead, she was in a peace and turkey campfire cult.

The final shock was when she walked into the bedroom...

...and found that there were only single beds.

Once Moey Weather realized there would be no hot bunny humping, she was off like a prom dress. But who would satisfy her lust for destruction and power? Who would share her visions of crushing the populace underfoot like a trail of bugs? She decided to go to the square dance that was going on at the Darkside house to try and meet that special someone.

"Grab your vampire by the arm, take him out behind the barn!"

It was love at first sight.

"I just love men in black. And I have a helmet fetish."

Once Moey and Darth got to talking, they realized how much they had in common.

"I want to blow up the world with a giant atomic bomb..."
"Oh yes! Yes! Tell me more!"

And they wreaked havoc happily ever after.

"The force is strong with you, baby. Let's go upstairs."