And, ew, where's his hand headed?

I hope somebody got me some therapy.

While Alessandro, Tim, Kate and Tabitha are enjoying slices of birthday cake, Mo Pie finally gets out of bed and surprises her daughter with her birthday gift. That's right, it's her very own ferret!

Those squealing noises last night came from the ferret. No, really. Really.

Tabitha tries to teach the ferret how to sit on its hind legs, while Mo Pie heads off to smear vanilla frosting all over Kate Winslet and link it off.

I think I'll name him Therapy.

The Hollywood family has finished shooting their epic film, Searching for Bobby Fischer Again, Only Much Harder This Time. Except that it's not so much "an epic" as "a really stupid shoot-em-up movie with a lot of gratuitous sex," and Bobby Fischer has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Still.

The chairs are empty now. The pivotal Random Windmill has stopped turning. Touching, isn't it?

They decide to celebrate by throwing a huge VIP wrap party in their newly built VIP wrap party room. Oh, those crazy entertainment folks.

In the parking lot, Spike and Russell Crowe argue about who has the bigger penis. I mean, better car.

"Your black Mercedes is awfully depressing." "Yeah? Well your pink VW Beetle is just poncey, mate."

The Ghost of Kurt Cobain, Spike and Antonio Banderas all show up in the same green tux. What a faux pas!

I have the same taste as two dead guys? I think I need... how do you say? Aah, yes. Much tequila.

Charlotte shows up in jeans and a T-shirt, because she's just that cool. Unfortunately, nobody wants to talk to her.

I wish that guy with the cheekbones would come over here...

Russell Crowe sees his husband Tim dancing with Christina Aguilera. Well, sluts of a feather....

Count your blessings, Russell. At least you're standing next to a giant pineapple!

Two lonely people, just looking for love.

"I miss the cheekbones guy..." "I miss the giant pineapple...." Oh, just turn around, one of you, for the love of god.

Such a typical celebrity party. Kate Winslet is talking about herself, and Kurt Cobain shakes his head in annoyance.

Even COURTNEY didn't go on about herself this much...

After the screening of the movie, the audience applauds Lucy, Keanu Reeves, Christina Aguilera, Ash and Abby. (Supporting actor Kurt Cobain is, for some reason, sitting in the back of the audience. From here, it kinda looks like he's shooting up.)

I think the guy in the front row is drunk. He doesn't know where he is, but hey, he likes airplanes!