Last time I did this, I had a family of eight living in a two-room house. That didn't go so well. Eventually they all got trapped in their indoor swimming pool and drowned. It took me some time to get over the trauma, and so it's been a while since any of my Sims had to go out and earn their keep.

Enter the Hobbit family: Frodo, Sam, Arwen, Aragorn, Eowyn and Gandalf. They started with $5,000 and a very ugly house. Now they have a handful of humiliating jobs, $4, and a very ugly house. Let's take a look at their first week in Simsville, shall we?

Day 1

A "mysterious package" arrives at the door. It contains magic wands, some spell ingredients (toad sweat, toadstools, and butter) and magical coins. It also has a magic wand charger and a basic spellbook.

Arwen has a very short attention span.

After a brief period of experimentation, Eowyn turns Frodo into a toad, while he's using the toilet, no less. The spell wears off quickly.

"The SECOND I'm not a toad anymore, I'm buying a deadbolt for this bathroom."

Day 2

Look, Sam has a crush on Frodo. Like this is news to anyone. Just do it already!

"So, do you want to snuggle?"

Sam buys a magic lamp and rubs it, hoping to make Frodo fall in love with him. He likes to rub things and think of Frodo. (Sorry, sorry.) The spell hits Aragorn instead! And it's time for some hot man-on-hobbit action. Sadly, they refuse to do anything more than peck each other on the lips. Prudes.

"I guess this is sort of okay. But if you touch my butt, I'll deck you."

Day 3

Arwen and Eowyn get jobs as popcorn vendors in the circus. Since there are only three beds in the house, they have to sleep on the ugly green couches in the den.

"We smell like popcorn, we're dressed like organ grinder monkeys, and these couches are lumpy. Get some orcs in here. I feel the need to kill something."

Seriously, look at the decor in this place! Something must be done.

Arwen, Gandalf and Aragorn stare at the only piece of art in the house. It is ugly. Nobody speaks.

Day 4

Arwen gets a bonus for selling the most popcorn that day at the circus, and redecorates the front hall in an Elfin leaf theme.

YOU tell her it's too green." "No, YOU tell her."

Aragorn is promoted to wedding singer. Sam and Frodo get work as medical test subjects. I guess this is progress?

Rockin' the ruffled baby blue tux. Still not king.

Day 5

The romance between Sam and Aragorn is over as quickly as it began. Frankly, I don't think either of them was ever really into it.

"It's not you, okay? I'm just not into hobbits."

Arwen tries to find love elsewhere when Tim Pie walks past, and she chats him up about her life as an Elf and her "evenstar" if you get my drift. But he is totally turned off by her popcorn outfit and they get into a fight instead.

" Your loss, buddy. Just look at these perky elf boobs!"

Day 6

Frodo and Sam slowdance in the den. This was of their own simulated volition. I was very proud.

The beige carpeting and the plywood bookshelf really set the mood, I think.

Day 7

The only food these Sims can afford is pizza. Notice how they are eating their pizza, every single one of them turned away from all the others. These are some depressed Sims, man. Something has got to be done.

Frodo is thinking about how to solve their interior design problems. With a nuclear bomb.

Will the entire house end up green and leafy? Will Arwen and Eowyn get promoted and start wearing clown outfits? Will Aragorn like that-- a little too much? Stay tuned! No, really!