Twas the night before Christmas,
The children felt fluttery

The tree was a-trimmed
In the Castle of Sluttery

The fires were lit--
No disasters-- what luck!

And Mo Pie had hopes
for a Christmas Eve fuck.

Soon each Sim was nestled
All snug in his bed

Dreaming sugar plum dreams,
Giving holiday head.

And what to my wondering
Eyes should appear

But a Santa Claus Sim!
(Without his Sim deer.)

He ate all their cookies
Right off of the plate

He brought a pool table!
Check it out! That is great!

And Santa left gifts,
labeled "Tim's," "Russell's," "Tabby's..."

So they opened their presents
still dressed in their jammies

They got all kinds of gifts
And they didn't share 'em,

Like Mo Pie, who got
A new boy for her harem

And Santa called out
as he shouldered his bag,

"Merry Christmas to all,
And to all a good shag!"